If our creator had meant us to be thin, he would not have created chocolate

2009-12-28T09:36:00.009+08:00

- The past is part of what makes us who we are now -

It’s official.

I’ve killed several snails for the past couple of days and it is NOT for escargot. There’s no sauce of melted butter, garlic and whatnots. No point in garnishing snails that have been crushed on. Trust me when I say you won’t have the time to stop, crouch, and garnish said snails while at the same time trying to get some freaking air into you burning lungs.

In my defense, I say that it was dark when it happened those few times and I felt, honest to god, guilty. To top it off, the area where I jog does not have much light and the only light source comes from the lamp posts and the occasional trains that pass by. So maybe going jogging at 6am is not such a good idea the first time it happened but that’s the only timing I jog! After the first incident, I jogged with my eyes stuck on the ground. You know, to ensure that I avoid stepping another snail. Well, let’s just say I had a moment of vertigo within 30 minutes of doing it and decided to just stare straight ahead while praying very hard not to step on other snails.

My prayer wasn’t answered.

I am really sorry for killing them but it was not on purpose. I swear! To show my sincerity and that I meant every apology, here’s something to commemorate those snails I stepped on (which was not stepped on purpose!!)

Image source:
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dsnail%2Bcartoon%26rs%3D2%26b%3D101%26ni%3D20%26pstart%3D1%26fr%3Dslv8-tyc7%26fr2%3Dtab-web&w=95&h=100&imgurl=forums.polyloop.net%2Fattachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D14871%26amp%3Bstc%3D1%26amp%3Bthumb%3D1%26amp%3Bd%3D1157214290&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.polyloop.net%2Ffr%2F2006%2Fpage%2F4&size=2k&name=attachment+php&p=snail+cartoon&oid=34d7e7b22d7a36be&fr2=tab-web&no=107&tt=230&b=101&ni=20&sigr=116nok068&sigi=12sep47u3&sigb=13fuk46c5

2009-12-23T13:02:00.025+08:00

I have no motivation
For a thing called self learning
But if it is on baking and innovation
That's a whole different thing

Wow.

It has been a ~~while~~ long time since I last graced this blog with my presence huh? Life has been crazy and it still is. As soon as school reopened, my life has been pretty much hectic; with all the assignments, projects and whatnots. I won't lie, but the past 2 months did not give me much time to have a life out of school. I've been living under a rock and my social life is totally non-existent unless you count the occasional sms from my friends (in which the different friends can be counted with one hand).

Anyway, I've been feeding my passion by baking every single day since Friday; like a sourdough starter where every single day it is fed with a dose of flour and the end result is always satisfying but for my case, it would be a daily dose of something to bake with the end result that is equally satisfying. The work is tiring; been waking up at 5 am and slept around 12 am to prepare the order of 400 brownies and cheesecakes. The only reason why I am not totally dead is because I am officially on my term break and I got one more term to go before I am DONE with school! Yeah baby!! No more lecturers, no more tutorials, no more presentations and here's the deal breaker, no more spending 3 hours on travelling to get educated!!!

I'm digressing as usual when I’m talking about school. ANYWAY, I managed to complete the order with the help of my little elves. Without them, I would currently be a walking zombie due to not getting any sleep at all. So, thanks Kak. Kaiyisah, Kak Saiyidah and Imran. You guys are the best and I could not have done it without you. So of course as a token of my appreciation, I did something for them as well [don’t let it be said I am an ungrateful human being ;-)]. Honestly? Doing this actually allowed me to try out one of my experiments and let me put my sketched decoration ideas into reality. What can I say, killing two birds with one stone is my forte. oh yeah, and my dearest and sweetest Kak. Saiyidah was willing to help me snap a ~~few~~ lot of pictures with her new DSLR.

Her baby + my babies = the following pics. ;-)

Thanks again Kak.Saiyidah! you're a gem!!

part of the brownies that were for my dad's x'mas company lunch. Ain't the flowers just the prettiest thing?

here's the rest of the designs I did. had to crack my brain to think of the designs. I was running out of options by the time I crumpled my 3rd paper of design ideas.

Here's a little something I did for my family for all their help and support. Don't let it be said I am a cold, ungrateful, heartless girl. HAH!

wait.
there's more.
.
.
.
.

thank you for everything everyone. I could not have done it without y'all! :-D

2009-10-31T18:09:00.002+08:00

- Whoever came up with the phrase ' forgive and forget ' has a few loose screws. Personally, those two don't go along hand in hand unless you are a saint -

School.

If this were given as a one word topic in the ‘O’ level English composition, I would have chosen it in a heartbeat. I could easily hit the minimum required words without any trouble but of course there would be nothing positive in it. Of course this is the point of view of a student who is stressed up with school work and wishes that school would just come to an end already.

Two weeks into school and I’m still dreading it each day. There are ~~a couple of~~ so many things I hate this semester till I don’t even know where to begin. Sure it’s good to be back rather than being cooped up at home but just the thought of going school makes me wish that I had a longer break than just those 3 months.

Things have been slow. Slow in adapting to school being back in session. Slow in the uptake of new information (school related obviously). Slow in accepting the changes and slow in many other departments that I can’t be bothered to list down.

But anyway, apart from being ~~fucking~~ bloody down, I just found out Starbucks are having their Christmas drinks!! My peppermint mocha is back baby! mmMmm….waited two whole freaking years for it and now it’s here. I’m going to drink it like I’m a deprived caffeine addict. Ok, maybe not so much of the caffeine but the peppermint, but saying deprived peppermint addict doesn’t have a nice ring to it. Not as nice as a deprived caffeine addict that is.

Being the better person

2009-10-12T15:38:00.003+08:00

Minding our own business, the room was pretty silent except for the occasional sounds of trains passing by at different intervals. The silence allowed me to think about things that have been swimming in my mind for quite some time now.

Friends.

Second chances.

Being the better person.

Depression.

“Kak, do you think what I did was wrong?” I asked as a particular thought got me thinking, A LOT.

“He’s human farz. People make mistake. If god is capable of forgiveness no matter how big the mistake was, why can’t you do the same? After all, he was once your friend right? Forgive him and move on. Put the past behind you.”

What my sister said got me thinking. Once again, she was right (when has she ever not been right?). So, in the hopes of finally moving on and forgetting the past, I’m going to be the better person.

Here goes.

Aziz, I forgive you. You may be an idiot at times and god knows how much blood you have managed to suck out of me, but despite all that, I forgive you. I hope you figure out your life and straighten out your priorities. Have faith and don’t give up in your beliefs. I know you can achieve the things you want.

p!nk - family portrait

2009-10-05T10:52:00.003+08:00

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal
(I promise I'll be better)
Let's go back to that
(Mommy I'll do anything)

In our family portrait
(Can we work it out?)
We look pretty happy
(Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend
(I promise I'll be better)
Act like it goes naturally
(Daddy please don't leave)
Oh let’s go back to that

2009-09-19T21:13:00.004+08:00

Whenever I play this video, I’ll find myself laughing so hard till my tears roll down my cheeks. IT’S JUST SO CUTE!! The video was recorded when he was 7years old. How time have passed by. I can’t believe that is seriously my brother; the annoyingly cute brother of mine that is growing up way too fast to my liking. I’ve found the perfect remedy for any emotional distress I’ll have in the future. Just watching the video makes me feel so much better. Though I prefer him back then for his vocabulary ain’t as big as now. Now, huh. His vocabulary can rival that of mine.

Just one

2009-09-18T19:55:00.005+08:00

You know there’s always this list where people always put things they wish for? Like they wish for a car; wish for a miracle; wish to be given just one more minute with someone who has passed on and etc. Well, I got a confession to make. I just became one of those people. I don’t have a long wish list neither do I ask for anything that’s impossible to give but if one of my wishes do come true, even if it’s just one, I’d be the happiest girl alive.

I am not saying that I am not thankful for everything that has happened or been given to me. I am. I really am. But there are times where you just wish for something more. Something that would make you happier or more satisfied. It does not matter if that something is small or not so significant, but just knowing that it is of something you really want, that is gratifying enough.

'Nuff said about that. Anyway, here are my wishes. If at least one does come true, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Wishes:

I wish that my dad would stop pretending

I wish that I my parents would be more supportive in me trying to make my dreams come true

I wish that my dad would not be so judgmental

I wish that people would take me seriously

I wish that my dad could spare me a minute of his time

I wish that my parents would wholly support my passion

I wish that my dad could at least show a shred of happiness towards my achievements

I wish that at least one of my wishes comes true.

Knowing that these are more or less what I am wishing for, I’d be more than happy to give up the rest of my wishes if it means that one of them will come true.

Just one.

the things i'll save when a building's on fire

2009-09-18T09:27:00.008+08:00

“Where is it? Where is it?” I asked to no one in particular as I rummaged through my clothes basket.

“Farz, come on! If we don’t get out now, the whole building is going to collapse!” My friend screamed as somewhere near her right, a piece of debris from the ceiling came crashing.

“I’m coming. I just need to find my…”

“Can you just forget about your GOD DAMN Victoria Secret bras?! Our lives are at stake here!!MY life!” With that, she tucked my hand violently and I could have sworn I heard something popped.

Ok, so maybe that would not really happen should I get trapped in a building that is on fire. From me ~~screaming my lungs out for help~~ panicking to thinking about the safety of those around me, I would have caved in to the pressure. Trust me, when I am under pressure, you can expect ~~a lot~~ ~~a bit~~ no of help from me unless I am in a situation where my life is hanging on the line though being trapped in a building that’s being burnt down to the ground doesn’t count (god knows why).

Now, what would really happen is that I would just grab my entire Victoria Secret bras from atop my clothes basket [for I am a very organized person ;-)], run to the kitchen, dump the whole lot of bras into my kitchen aid mixer bowl, unplug my kitchen aid and THEN try to make a run for it.

It’s crazy but my kitchen aid is my life. I’m nothing without it and as for my Victoria Secret bras, well, let’s just say that it is safer if you guys do not know the exact reasons behind it. Some things are better left unexplained.

Foolproof IT idiot

2009-09-16T17:52:00.003+08:00

I've tried but I just couldn't do it.

I can't get the bloody tagboard up and running on Wordpress!!

I've read the step-by-step instructions a ~~million~~ couple of times and I still DON'T get it. So much for being an IT student. A friend of mine passed me that link about how to have a tagboard on Wordpress and I'm sorry to say this, but

I ~~can't~~ won't understand anything that involves IT terms. Did I mention that I'm a foolproof IT idiot. Give me an IT dummy book and I would secretly trade them in for a baking one.

That's how tight my relationship with IT is.

Anyway, blogspot seems to be in my favour now. I'm able to upload pictures and whatnots so maybe I shall just stick to blogspot for now. If the problem persist, well, let's cross that bridge when the time comes.

Take That!

2009-09-16T17:49:00.001+08:00

As I’m typing this post, my cookies are being cooled; cookies that I have been slaving off for the past ~~3 hours~~... Ok, so maybe I may have exaggerated a bit but the whole completion of the cookies was about there; give or take.

Been baking since morning and I am so dead beat. Just so you know, baking when I want to is different from baking when I have to. Now I’m baking because I have to. My dad has been bugging me ~~from time to time~~ non-stop about the status of the Hari Raya cookies. We basically had a one-sided conversation regarding this topic. He was firing off one question after another till the point where I got too lazy to answer. ~~A girl~~ I can only take in so many questions at one time.

“When you going to start making?”

“You start making already or not?”

“You starting tomorrow?! You sure have enough time to finish everything?”

“What are you making?”

“Got any traditional cookies or not?”

“Is your cookies nice?"

“How you know it’s nice?”

…

And the questions went on and on. If I had the time to list down all the questions I would but right now, all I want to do is shove the whole jar of cookies I’ve made and rub it in my dad’s face. Hah! Take that Mr. One Thousand and One questions!

However, with me being me, I’m not that kind of person. I’m just going to point out to him the jars of cookies the next time he asked me such questions. People do say that I’m too kind for my own good. ;-)

p.s. I am still quite depressed with the need to move my blog. I'm not use to wordpress and looks like it's going to take some getting use to. Time to start adjusting I guess.

2009-09-14T22:57:00.003+08:00

i am so depressed.

i have to MOVE. the blog that is.

i have been experiencing some technical difficulty with blogspot. it seems that we are unable to communicate well and work hand-in-hand to achieve my goals so i have no choice but move over to wordpress.

here's the thing.

lately, when i want to update, i can't seem to post any pictures. AT ALL. and i'm sick and tired of this problem so i gave up on it and chose wordpress as my new home for my blog. pictures are very crucial to me. the saying, 'Pictures paints a thousand words' is something i totally understand. perhaps when you come to the same level of understanding as i do, perhaps you would understand but for now, let's just leave as that. ;-)

so people, do update my blog link on your blogs and taggers, do not abandon me. i still need your tags to keep my blog alive and know that somewhere out there, people are still willing to listen to my whines and rambles of my daily life and of course mock me on my weird food creations.. ;-)

so, tag me by leaving a comment. good, bad, i don't care. just do let me know that you guys are still alive out there.

here's my new blog home:

http://cynfool.wordpress.com/

substitute banana cake

2009-09-14T11:36:00.002+08:00

If bananas could talk, I think the current ones (though now it’s not so current) sitting on my counter would say,

“Use me. I know you want to. I’m ripe for anything.”

It may sound vulgar, OK, it does sound vulgar but so what. My imagination tends to run wild when it comes to food. If your imagination runs along the same line as mine, you’d understand when I say; whenever we see food, we have found our playground. Just imagine the things that we could do with them. Oh my! You can do wonders with just a block of chocolate, whipped up different flavored frosting with 8 ounces of cream cheese and different types of cakes with just 2 overripe medium bananas. We could even play around with it, tweak certain recipes to suit our little but demanding heart’s desire and of course the best part; doing experiments! What would you get if you add raspberry puree to a certain batter? Use wholewheat flour instead of plain? The only way to get that answer is of course by experimenting them. I think food is a gift nicely wrapped from heaven to kind people like us who appreciates food; it’s for our good taste in appreciating the finer things in life.

Back to my bananas. So there they were, taunting me; in their over ripe condition just begging me to use them as an ingredient. Well, with me being me, I caved in and decided to fulfill their wish. So they became my main ingredient for my banana cake. I planned to mash them up together, store it in the fridge and use them the next day but my mom insisted that I bake the cake that day and bake them I did.

Looking at the ingredients required, I thought I had all of them on hand, except for sour cream which I substituted with plain yogurt, so I started baking. Here’s the best part. When I was looking for my yogurt, it wasn’t there! I searched like a mad person I tell you but the result was still the same so of course I went out of the kitchen and asked,

“Who took my plain yogurt?”

Instinctively, my next question was, “Papa, you took my yogurt is it?”

This is of course knowing that when it comes to missing yogurt, it doesn’t take a genius to make my dad as the main suspect. He inhales yogurt like a freaking cigarette.

He stopped typing, looked up from his laptop and said,

“Ya la. Your mother never buy yogurt for so long. That yogurt I saved it as a last resort. I see your mother not buying yogurt then I had no choice but to eat that.” With that said, off he went continuing with his work.

So apologetic I tell you. Man. Can't they at least sound a bit guilty? Maybe I'm just asking too much.Oh well.

So I stood in the kitchen, racking my brain what to substitute my substituted ingredient for. So I listed down all the possible substitutes that would of course suit this cake (duh!).

Substitute for sour cream is plain yogurt (which I’ve intended to use). Substitute for plain yogurt would be buttermilk (for me that is but it may differ from individuals). Knowing that I do not have buttermilk on hand, I substitute that as well with homemade buttermilk. A cup of milk with one tablespoon of lemon juice let stand for 5 minutes.

Voila, my substitute banana cake. Turned out real nice.

Philips Food processor HR7620

2009-09-12T20:56:00.001+08:00

2 speeds and pulse
The food processor has two speed settings to match hard or soft ingredients. Plus, a pulse funtion for chopping garlic or crushing ice for example.

Easily performs 15+ functions
The Food Processor comes with 5 different accessories that enable it to perform 15+ different functions. The – dishwasher safe - accessories are a kneading tool for mixing batter and for heavy kneading. A stainless steel chopping knife to prepare meat and vegetables. Metal disk inserts to handle medium shredding and granulating. And an emulsifying disk to prepare food like whipped cream and mayonnaise.

500 Watt motor to handle large quantities and heavy kneading
With the 500W motor plus 2 speed settings and pulse button you can pick the right speed for optimal results

I have decided to get it, using my Hari Raya money of course. Since my mom does not want to sponsor me, I have decided to splurge myself with this baby. Anyway part of the reason for me willing to part my money for this is because I am too lazy to write an essay to convince my mom on why I want to get the food processor.

Food processor is a MUST have in all kitchens; especially those who loves to cook and/or bake. It makes the job of slicing, dicing, mincing (and whatever else you do in the kitchen) so much easier. On top of that, I can make pate sucree and my apple pie crust too with a push of a button. Awesome huh?

Anyway, I was suppose to make lasagne for Matt. It was to be done eons ago but I just can’t get around to it. I would usually pin the blame on time constraint, not being able to find the perfect recipe and etc but for once, I shall be honest; I am too lazy. I’m sorry Matt but whenever it comes to you; my laziness just seems to intensify, A LOT. ;-)

So, yeah. When he reminded me a few days back that I owed him lasagne, I told myself, what the heck. Since I am in a baking frenzy and spends most of my time in the kitchen, might as well get my stove working, bring out all the pots and pans and start making lasagne.

Soon Matt. You’ll get your lasagne REAL soon.

PS: CT, Stop saying I’ll get an A!! You’re making me pin my hopes so high. You are so evil; downright evil. Didn’t know you had it in you. ;-)

stupid, stinking inspiration!!

2009-09-07T20:45:00.001+08:00

It’s difficult being me.

I am someone that has a memory space worst than a one year old. The things I remember are limited to those that occurred 5 or 10 minutes ago. I’m cursed with a bad memory I tell you and this is NOT due to my excessive drinking of coffee whatsoever.

There I was, thinking of ways on how to ensure that my cookies for Hari Raya would stay as fresh as it was when they are out from the oven without having to put them in the freezer when an (inconvenient) inspiration struck me. As of right now, my mom and I are having a little bit of dispute about who gets the space in the freezer because when Hari Raya comes, my mom wants to use the freezer but on the other hand, so do I. Though if you ask me, that kind of size should hardly be called a space and not worth fighting over but desperate times calls for desperate measures right?

Anyway, while I was trying to come up with solutions of any kind, trying being the operative word here, the inspiration stuck. Just like that. It doesn’t even relate to what I was thinking about!! One minute I was thinking of buying tones of airtight containers to put my cookies in and the next I was coming with ways to decorate my brownies using chocolate plastic.

Damn!

Despite the fact that it’s an inconvenient inspiration, it was a useful one. It was about the different ways I could decorate my brownies.

Since I am known for a master in ‘short-term-memory’, I frantically searched for papers I could write on. Any papers I could get my hands on would do just fine so it is only natural that this would be one of the moments where I am so grateful that the printer was beside my study table. Grabbing the papers from the paper tray, I drew out what I had in mind.

Having taken a back seat, my findings for solution on “how-to-keep-cookies-fresh” dilemma was soon forgotten and my brownie decoration became my main priority. With that being said, I was done with that after half an hour or so. I then resumed back to coming up with solutions for my “how-to-keep-cookies-fresh” dilemma only to find out that I had nothing to work with.

I did not write down all the previous solutions I had come up with prior to the stupid, stinking, inconvenient inspiration!

“Well, that got to suck.” Heaving a deep sigh, I began thinking of solutions that could help with my “how-to-keep-cookies-fresh” dilemma all over again. This time, with my pen and papers on hand.

Like the saying goes, ‘Once bitten, twice shy.’

knowing its existence...

2009-09-07T14:49:00.004+08:00

Today is pretty much a slow day. Make that a VERY slow day. As I’m typing this entry right now, my eyes weigh as though it has weights on its lids. I’m yawning like nobody’s business, which it really isn’t, and stretching so much till majority of my bones have popped. I’m guessing that any further stretches would be detrimental to my health but hey, if it keeps me awake, what the heck right.

Anyway, the thing that made me stopped yawning and stretching is the sms I received from Black. The contents of the sms shocked me due to the fact that just the thought of him knowing the existence of my blog was pretty much like me successfully dragging him to jog with me in which, I might add, is not going to happen anytime soon.

Of course when he mentioned the post about “How to shut Black up”, I completely freaked out. Firstly, he wasn’t meant to read it and secondly, I want to avoid hurting his feelings but it’s been done so no point brooding over it.

Anyway, he was a real sport about it. He wasn’t offended at all and he even said it was true anyway. (like as if I would post lies and fabricate the truth in my blog entries! What are you trying to say Black?!)

So after overcoming my shock, I just had to ask, “How the heck you know?! You’re not supposed to know!!”

I mean, how could I forget details like that right? Unless he actually took the effort to search my blog on the internet, which I highly doubt, he couldn’t have known about its existence but of course when he said that I mentioned my blog to him about a year ago, I thought to myself,

“Huh. That explains it then.”

I do not have the capacity to store memories or information that dates as far back as one year ago. Hell, anything that takes place 5 minutes ago is a chore for me to recall. That’s just how good my memory is. With a memory capacity that “large” I have always wondered. With the need to memorize facts, information and whatnots,

How the heck did I get far in my education?

An act of stupidity

2009-09-03T20:57:00.004+08:00

Hypothesis: To prove that my level of stupidity at the age of 19 surpasses those of a bimbo

Experiment conducted: Take a jug of hot water (boiling hot mind you) and pour it into a plastic bottle

Result: A deformed bottle and a proven hypothesis

I think I defy the statement, “With age comes wisdom” because apparently, as I aged, wisdom tends to elude me. If you’re observant and know me well, you can tell that 5 year olds have much more common sense than I do. I mean come on, hot water in a plastic bottle?! I think I may have suffered a momentary growth of tumor in my brain that rendered my common sense useless.

Honestly, looking back at it, I can’t believe I did that! Being shocked to see what had become of my bottle is one thing but knowing that I was the reason behind it definitely made me questioned my level of intelligence. It’s not that I’m dumb per se, but there are times where I would just throw my logic out the window and proceed on with my life without it. Of course this usually leads to dumb acts as can be seen from today’s experiment. This is not the first time I spoilt my bottle. The first time was when I was about 12 years of age; I put my SIGG bottle into the freezer. Yes people, I put a freaking metal bottle into the FREEZER but hey, at least i can say I was too young to have known better.

Amazing how much I have matured from then till now.

The result of my stupidity:

The top part remained unharmed...

It's the bottom one that makes you wonder how I have come so far in my life without much common sense.

P.S: Do you think it would work if say I pour boiling hot water into the bottle and while the water is still in it, I push the malleable plastic back to its proper shape? it's just a question. A SENSIBLE question mind you.

mirror mirror on the wall, tell me the truth or none at all

2009-09-02T21:04:00.008+08:00

“Fascinating. I’ve never seen such a contraption before from where we come from. Perhaps humans think it is wise to have mirrors that could magnify anything to epic proportions,” AL said to IEN as he examined the mirror that was found hidden in one of the broken human houses.

A single line of crack could be seen starting from the edge of the round mirror down to its handle but otherwise, the mirror seemed to be in good condition.

"Oh my! IEN, check this out!" AL exclaimed as he pulled IEN beside him.

"Look! If I were to hold the mirror this way, our faces look normal does it not? Now, when I flip it over..."

"HOLY CRAP! IEN! What is that thing on you face?! It looks god awful," Al stated as he turned around to IEN and tip-toed to get a better view of what, he mentally deemed, as a volcana that was waiting to explode, leaving behind a huge crater.

Irritated with his friend's lack of tact, IEN slapped AL's fingers away.

Through gritted teeth, he replied, "That my friend, is what humans would call a zit."

With that, IEN stormed off to the other side of the house.

The first thing that crossed my mind when I saw that mirror was, “Good god!! I can count my pores! This is horrible!”

The mirror tells no lies and hides no flaws. It has been sworn to show what you don’t want to see and not what you want to see. The mirror is a tool that will make your otherwise perfect reality into a living nightmare. Can you believe the nerve of this mirror?! Making me put myself down and feel all worked up over something that may have been blown out of proportion due to some factory manufacturing mistake during production.

“It’s a magnifying glass mirror you moron,” my voice of reason said with a hint of annoyance. Alright, so it was not a factory error. My bad.

Ok, so maybe I might have over exaggerated that part and left out that small insignificant detail about the mirror being two sided with different lenses but it WAS insignificant so I did not really register it in my mind. Notwithstanding the fact that in the product description, it was mentioned about the mirror being two sided with two different lenses.

Anyway, despite that small hiccup in our IKEA shopping trip, my sister and I decided to invest 20 bucks on the mirror (among many other junks that was really not necessary but were deemed necessary at that point in time) that would be the only thing in our life, for many years to come, to be honest with us and something that we can put our full trust in.

Hey, if humans can’t be trusted, always sugar-coating the truth and majority of the time telling you what you want to hear, it means that they are spouting lies cause seriously, the chances of your friends telling you the truth is pretty much like your mom giving you the green lights to go clubbing (which is very small). The reason behind it is simple really. They do not want to hurt your feelings. Bleagh!

So anyway, your back plan when a situation, such as above, arises, it’s time to go IKEA and get that mirror baby. They are reliable, provide perfect and clear view of anything and best of all,

IT DOESN'T SPEAK!

How to shut Black up

2009-08-31T21:04:00.004+08:00

Lazy (adjective): Disinclined to work or exertion

I was sms-ing a friend of mine about how I do not want to go out with him. It was already evening; the weather was hot (maybe not THAT hot but still…), it’s the fasting month and the time to break fast was coming soon. Furthermore, I don’t want to be in a situation where I have to rush from where ever I am just to reach home in time for break fast; it’s very troublesome.

Well, that’s the cleaned up version of the truth.

Alright, the main reason for me not wanting to go was because I was lazy; plain old pure LAZY. I’m human. The chances of me being able to successfully avoid that characteristic are…non-existence. So there! That’s the god’s honest truth. I’m sorry Black. Truly sorry.

Anyway, while I was apologizing for my laziness, that I’m sure most of us has it, in which it got me thinking that it’s really unnecessary for me to justify my laziness, for its part of being human, but with me being me, I apologized.

So in the midst of me composing a long sms of apology, I just remembered I have yet to wish him a ‘Happy Birthday’ (reason being, I kind of sort of forgot his birthday?) Imagine my surprise when I totally forgot about that small little information. I think this may be due to the fact that I actually met up with him before the fasting month to pass him his birthday gift as well as brownies, chocolates AND cookies. Ain’t he a lucky dude?

Anyway, doing the only right thing I could think of, I said, “Hey, at least I wished you a Happy Birthday in advance, bought for you stuffs AND baked goodies for you.”

That being said, I went to lengthen my sms of apology (from time to time, I do feel guilty you know).

I thought I did a great job in composing a heartfelt apology but was I forgiven? Noooo…I wasn’t let off the hook that easily. He made me walk down the guilt trip!! He said, and I quote, “It’s my birthday and you’re doing this to me? How could you?” If he thinks that’s going to make me feel guilty, he got another thing coming for him.

So I brought out the big guns. Instead of saying sorry, like what any normal apologetic people would say (which is obviously not me), I said, “Let’s call it even. This for all those times you stood me up or pang-seh me.”

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you shut Black up. ;-)

2009-08-30T22:36:00.010+08:00

"why would you want to be with me? i don't carry a baggage but a cargo hold in my life"

“This is going to take a LONG time. Come on farz, don’t give up. You can do it,” I said to no one in particular.

In the name of baking, I was willing to mentally prepare myself for long hours of being in front of the scanner doing what I deem as a necessity but others as a sign that my sanity has taken a turn for the worse.

Ok, so you guys know about my bad habit I stated in one of my previous post? Well, I got something to add to that. Not only do I find recipes online, I borrow books on baking from the library as well. That’s not the worst. This is:

I borrow not only one book at a time, but many at one shot.

So that was the position my sister found me in for the next hour. My sister went in and out of the room countless times and throughout those times, I was still busy flipping pages and scanning the pages I have marked with those cute little small rectangular-ish sticky notes that just had to come in various vibrant colors that made me bought more than what I needed. Well, let me tell you, it was a job that went way beyond testing your perseverance and patience. Despite having my tush glued to the chair and letting the machinery do all the work, it does get tiresome after some time, hence the testing of patience and perseverance.

Anyway, while I was busy scanning away, something got me thinking. in which when they do happen, it’s very rare till I can count them in one hand as my ability to multi-task is pretty much non-existent but not for lack of trying mind you.

So ANYWAY, I thought, wouldn’t it be so much simpler if I just take pictures of those recipes? I mean not only do I get to save time, but I can return those books early and borrow more books (baking books of course).

After asking my sister for the digital camera, I began snapping away.

Voila! I was done in record time. It took me no longer than 10 minutes to get the recipes I wanted. Comparing to the 60 minutes I spent scanning, I’d say this is a good way of acquiring the recipes I wanted out of any books.

Thank god for a fully functional brain.

Oh yea, did I mentioned my sister baked Reese brownie? Or was it pan cookie? I’m not really sure but either way, boy oh boy were they some serious stuff!! It is chocolate and PB goodness all wrapped in one. I couldn’t resist but to make myself a cup of coffee and sneaked one (oh fine! It was two pieces) brownie after breaking my fast. I also reheated my carrot cupcake to go along with my stash of unhealthy goodness and damn! It was dang good.

This is the pan cookie variation. Or so I’ve been told.

Now, the one that is in front of the Hershey’s cocoa powder, it’s the brownie version.

P.S. if you ask me, despite the taste being the same, I prefer the pan cookie version. It has a nice crunch to it.

2009-08-28T22:43:00.002+08:00

- Health food makes me sick -

Oh the horror that is today.

Few moments ago, my stomach growled. After being deprived from food for at least 12 hours, my stomach was begging for sustenance. So there I was, on my laptop, minding my own business and trying real hard to ignore the calls of my stomach, but of course, my will as a human being wasn’t strong enough. The lonely cheesecake box situated at the corner of my table that I had gotten awhile back, god knows from which era, caught my attention. Perhaps it was because of its bright orange color that made my eyes shift that side or perhaps it’s just my stomach way of telling me to feed it with any food within reach but whatever the reason was, my hand reached out for it.Thinking that I get to enjoy at least a stick of cheesecake from the ‘Brick Factory’, I opened the box only to have it closed right back immediately.

The smell!!Goodness gracious me!!If smell could kill, this one could definitely wipe out the whole of Singapore. The fine tasting cheesecake got moldy just by being placed at the corner of my table despite it still being wrapped in the box with the square packet thingy inside. The thingy main purpose (if I’m not mistaken) is to prevent molding to which I have to vehemently disagree cause as I have said, my cheesecake ended up something akin to ‘Fat Man’; the smell representing the mushroom cloud with my room being Nagasaki.

So I did what normal people would do; into the bin it went. Can’t really say I’m going to miss it because seriously, that cloud of smell has left a strong impression in which I doubt it’s going to be forgotten anytime soon.

Having said about smell, I baked carrot cake; cupcake style!!It was uber delicious! The smell was simply aromatic (a definite improvement from my ‘Fat Man’). I had to pinch my nose to prevent myself from inhaling the one thing that could break my fast as I had baked them around 9 in the morning. This is to avoid my mom from finding out I had done some baking cause if my memory serves me well (which is not often mind you), she strictly told me “NO BAKING farz.” But me being me, I made them. So I had them baked, cooled and pop them into the fridge all before my mom came back. Not bad eh? The carrot cake (ok, cupcake; for those that are so rigid in your baking terms) stayed hidden in the fridge (away from my mom’s prying eyes) till evening where I topped them with cream cheese topping. They were the first thing I grabbed when the time for breaking my fast came.

I got to say, the cake/cupcake is definitely better than the previous one my sister made (shh…don’t tell her I said that cause if she finds out, I’m so dead). The cake/cupcake is very moist due to the crushed pineapple (which I added more and decrease the amount of sugar to make up for the excess pineapple syrup) and the spices give the cake/cupcake the overall ‘omph’ that makes me categorize this recipe as a keeper. It wasn’t overly sweet and I think if coupled with a cup of coffee, this cake/cupcake would be the perfect snack for tea time.

I got that piece of paper with the recipe on it dog-eared mind you. It’s a definite keeper for someone who loves carrot.

p.s. my mom asked when I baked them and I replied, “Sometime just now.”

carrot cake cupcake-style!!!

i love the two tone swirl. it's not that difficult to achieve but it does require 3 friggin piping bag!!

see that retro board under those cupcake?? i'm proud of that piece of art work...it took me 3 long hours of cutting and pasting to get that but it was worth it. ;-)

2009-08-28T10:35:00.004+08:00

-You don’t need to tell me. Tell yourself. Convince yourself why you’re stepping down the path that you are. And you know the best thing about walking your own way?You don’t need other people’s opinions to go your way.”-

i have a bad habit. i don't know whether it is categorized under bad habits or not, but to me it is.

my habit
i always go online on the look out for recipes that i can get my hands onto and bake them.

why is it bad?
i always end up with more than 5 recipes on hand AND before i can finish trying those recipes out, my habit resume.

result?
a whole stack of recipes dating as far back as last year piling on my bookshelf.

solution?
start trying some of them out AND find for more recipes...;-)

what can i say, it's a habit i can't stop. i honestly tried, but it only lasted for a few minutes. as soon as i switched on the comp, my habit just kicks in.

i've baked quite a lot of stuffs these past few days. cake pops, matcha brownie, vanilla cupcake and the list goes on (which is still going to go on after i log off later). maybe soon i shall make cheesecake. what's baking without making at least cheesecake once? i guess this is where the result of my bad habit proves to be useful. time to start looking for cheesecake recipes. good luck me...

anyway, guess what?!!i am so ecstatic right now till no words can even begin to describe those feelings. it's because i have found the love of my life!!oh yeah...you guys read it right. found my baby somewhere at seah street(mentioning about the love of my life followed by some unglamorous street name kind of spoils the moment of anticipation i'm trying to build here). i've been searching for my baby for quite sometime and finally.....

i found my supply of valrhona chocolate and cocoa powder!!!

valrhona's my baby. high quality chocolate that seems to be widely used everywhere. i can't wait to use them. i think any recipes using this brand of product would be simply divine for valrhona is THE cocoa powder and chocolate for baking. i bought them a week ago but have not gotten the opportunity to use them. perhaps i shall not WAIT for the opportunity. i shall MAKE the opportunity and the only way i can think of is to sift through my stack of recipes and start looking. i'm glad i have a stack (ok, maybe two stacks but who's counting right..) of recipes on hand. it makes the job of searching simple really.

so, cheesecake and valrhona. got it. time to make my stack (ok, stackS)of recipes earn its (ok, their) keep at the corner of my bookshelf. time to start flipping those papers.

2009-07-17T16:09:00.003+08:00

- sometimes being random is the only thing that prevents us from heading towards insanity -

As of now:

39 pages.

13,032 words.

point number 6.

As of 20th July 09:

more than 13,032 words written.

more than 39 pages.

everything compiled.

whole thing binded.

thorough check done.

handed in by 12 noon.

2009-07-05T10:42:00.001+08:00

Hope your happy now
But I'm not giving in
I hope you're satisfied
With your bullshit and your lies
Hope your happy now
But I'm not giving up
I hope your satisfied
Can't bury me alive

I hope your satisfied
Fuck you and fuck your lies

2009-06-19T21:56:00.002+08:00

- I live to be a prisoner in my own home -

Where is the moment we needed the most

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

They tell me your blue skies fade to grey

They tell me your passion's gone away

And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low

You're faking a smile with the coffee to go

You tell me your life's been way off line

You're falling to pieces everytime

And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday

The point is they laugh at what you say

And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most

Oh you and I

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

You've seen what you like

And how does it feel for one more time

You had a bad day

Had a bad day

daniel powter - 'bad day'

this was how today went for me but oh well, i shall persevere. life is too short to give up anyway.

2009-06-17T13:01:00.002+08:00

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Walt Emerson

BAKING.

RUNNING.

my two getaways. allowing me to forget and live a life where nothing matters. not having to worry about anything. giving me the opportunity to escape reality. it's wrong but it's my way of dealing. perhaps one day i will learn the proper way of dealing life and quit being so aloof but till that day comes, baking and running will be my choice of drug. hey, if it helps, i'll say take it.

2009-06-02T12:09:00.002+08:00

- “Alright, what is it that has you this happy at this time in the morning?”
“Were I to tell you, you would most likely suffer cardiac arrest. Believe me, you do not want to know.” -

holy crap. i just had an epiphany. i'm addicted to pastry. as in really really IN LOVE with them. if given the choice between pastries and fast food, without a doubt the former would be the winner. it just taste SO good. it's kind of like a drug to me. i have to have at least one pastry each day. that's why at my house there's always some type of pastry which i made over the weekends. be it cookies, brownies, cakes or etc, there would always be some on hand that i can easily grab and go before i head to school.

anyway, im trying not to bake a lot nowadays cause the only one that seem to be eating them is me and that's not good. so i only do it when i feel like doing them or when there is an occasion. though this coming weekend i'm definitely baking. a cake that is. it's my sister birthday and i'm baking her cake. so exciting!!

omg!!i just had a brilliant idea. since i'm dead broke (what's new right?), perhaps i can tell her this cake is my gift to her and better still, it comes deep down from my heart!!anyway, it's the thoughts that count right? ;-)

2009-05-23T21:24:00.013+08:00

- You could spend your whole life, miserable, trying to be someone that you're not, trying to make someone else happy, and knowing that nothing may ever be enough, or you could spend your life being who you are and making yourself happy -

oooooh baby.....today was great. it's my mom's birthday and we had a combined birthday celebration for me mom and dad at T3's Earl Swensen. ordered BBQ burger for myself. i thought it was going to be a small serving but when i got served, my god!!i got the freaking shock of my life. it was HUGE!!it could be shared between 2 people. i could only finish 1/3 of it and the rest i had them bagged and brought home. i couldn't take it. it was too much. my sisters and brother were lecturing me about how i should not waste it and how i should be lucky i got food on my plate yada yada yada...i would continue but i guess you guys should know what the rest is about. ;-) it was crazy and fun.

now, for the ice cream, i ordered hazel daze. it was delicious let me tell you. i was looking forward for the ice cream for over a week and i finally had it. my taste bud has now been satisfied. ;-) i'm a happy happy girl now.hahahahax...

it's very rare for my family to have these kind of moments where everyone is in attendance and we joked around and basically had fun. sure there were the ups and downs but it was definitely a day i'd cherish for a long time.

it's just us daddy...

it's just us girl....

wait for it...wait for it...

my hazel daze!!

SMILE!!

2009-05-19T19:31:00.003+08:00

-A coward is someone who makes decisions based only on their fears-

for all those with a broken heart, ditch your Ben&Jerry. i have found a better comfort food to soothe the broken hearted. it doesn't pack as much calories as B&J and it's easy to make. i totally fell in love with it the moment i took the first bite. in Singapore i doubt so a lot of people make it but in America, it's a classic.

it's called milk toast and it's the nicest food i have ever tasted. i love cinnamon so i think my judgement might be a tad bias but what the heck, it's one hell of a toast. the ingredients are pretty much basic. all you need are slices of bread, margarine/butter, sugar, cinnamon, raisin (optional)and milk. toast the bread while heating up milk with the raisins in them for about a minute and a half in the microwave. take the milk out and add sugar and cinnamon your milk and mix. add the toasted bread that you have spread with margarine/butter and had it torn into bite size.voila!you got the most nicest comfort food. for me at least. this is my version of doing it. there are other ways to prepare it but i find them tedious so i took a shortcut and came up with this. and oh yea, i always skip the margarine.

trust me, once you take a bite out of this baby, you will think twice before spending 18 bucks on a pint of ice cream to soothe your broken heart. it's bloody heavenly i tell you that.

2009-05-09T08:31:00.003+08:00

- i'm not a bitch. i just have issues. A LOT. -

nice morning. good weather. bad sore throat and horrible running nose. i thought those two were suppose to come together with the fever. you know, like in a package.

fever + sore throat + running nose = one hell of a day

this is stupid. i thought i was getting better. now i'm losing my voice. my voice!how to talk?! i don't know sign language and like hell am i going to write down everything i'm going to say. my hands would go numb before the day is over. now people can disturb me and i can't answer them back. drats. i'm hoping to get my voice back by monday. being talked down by matt is not something i'm looking forward to you know or maybe i can just sit far far away from him. oh well, i just have to wait and see. i'm praying real hard you know.

if i behave myself and be a good girl over the weekend, can i get my voice back?

2009-05-07T20:38:00.002+08:00

- before you look into my wallet, just so you know, i'm not a shopaholic, i just collect receipts -

i'm in the midst of doing my research. got tired so i decided to take a break but i can honestly say i don't deserve it. i need to pick up my pace!!i got to make up for the time i've lost due to unfortunate reason. had fever since monday which was followed by sore throat. with these two, i can't concentrate on doing my research. you try looking at the computer for 7 hours while your eyes are burning because of your damn fever. every time i closed my eyes, i can feel it burn!!my god. i didn't know fever + staring at the computer for a long time can result to that. so that was why i did nothing for those few days.

by now, most of you can figure out what's my schedule like. reach around 9.30am or later (it's rare i reach before that), do my research all the way till 11.30am or 12pm. then i go out to the canteen to buy fruits and take a breather as well. back in 30 mins or later because sometimes i head down to co-op to get my drink. after that, continue with the research till i go brain dead which would roughly be round 3.30pm or 4pm. by then you would see me walking around eGarage. so that's basically my time-table. trust me, it is NOT a relaxed time-table. being brain dead by the time school's over is not good for me you know cause i have to endure 1 hr and 30 mins ride back home being packed like a freaking sardine thanks to the bloody rush hour. my life is insane. insanely boring and predictable. 3wks down. god knows how many more.

And just for the record, after this project is over, i am NEVER reading another outsourcing article again! i am swearing off them!

2009-04-21T13:42:00.003+08:00

- 'maybe you aren’t as stupid as you look.’
'Oh no, I am. I’m just lulling you into a false sense of security.’ -

matthew said my entries are depressing. the exact word would be 'emo'. good god, i'm anything but that. that is reserved for a special friend ain't it lai li matthew? ;-) hahahax...

anyway, i'm in school enjoying a grande caramel macchiato while doing my project. managed to get the drink cause i was from the hospital so i JUST had to make a pit stop at starbucks before heading to school. i was craving for it and besides, my brain can't function without caffeine. oh how i wish i can do this everyday when i go school. i would be SO looking forward to school.

2009-04-16T10:22:00.004+08:00

- All of the knowledge in the world can’t make you understand anything. You have to experience it, you have to live it, and then if you’ve learned the lessons – or perhaps more importantly, if you haven’t – then, and only then, do you even start to understand -

went with bai, ifah and aidah yesterday. went with them before a couple of weeks back but i was too lazy too update and anyway they updated it on their blogs so....;-)

alright, so i had to go back to school to collect my new ez-link card, which is by the way still as ugly due to the fact that they used back the same picture!!unbelievable!!they could have at least inform us of this change and then i can give them a new picture. honestly. i think schools are out to make our lives miserable. so anyway, after that i had to attend a briefing for my in-house project. i think i'm so dead cause i have roughly about 13 weeks to complete everything and i'm doing the project solo!!so that means i am going to be a social pariah for the next 3 months or so.

after that met up with the 3 girls and had dinner at...erm...i can't remember the name of the place. i think it's called BBQ chicken of some sort. ok so bai and ifah ordered different types of chicken dishes then aidah and me tasted and by god we can't tell the difference!!!i guess becoming a food critique is totally out of the question.

then after that we went to get bai's present and then hanged out starbucks. you know, one day i'm going to successfully manage to influence the both of you to like green tea. then you can finally enjoy the finer things in life. right bai? ;-)

2009-04-14T17:53:00.010+08:00

-Those things said in anger are usually exactly what we mean, when we have too little control to stop ourselves -

And they call women crazy....honestly.

you know, when you think you have the guys figured out, certain situations make you take a step back to re-evaluate them. and here i thought nothing can get the guys as hyped up as the girls do when they buy something new. guess i was wrong. now, if only the guys show this much enthusiasm when us girls show them something new we just bought.

2009-03-31T17:54:00.003+08:00

-Don’t you think our personalities seem a bit different without our facade?
Hidden within this masquerade, we are completely different people-

Top 10 Signs of Depression
1. Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
2. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
3. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
4. Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed,including sex
5. Decreased energy, fatigue, or feeling “slowed down”
6. Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
7. Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
8. Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
9. Thoughts of death or suicide or actual suicide attempts
10.Restlessness or irritability
- taken from psychcentral.com

well, i'm glad to say that i do not meet ALL of these signs. so all of you can be rest assured that i am not depressed. you guys will not be seeing me going around with a pen knife with the intend to slash my wrists whenever the pressure is too much or penning down my last words on any available paper i find. i AM sane you know.

anyway, i'm helping you guys too, albeit indirectly. who knows, maybe y'all have these signs but you're unaware about it. now, thanks to me, you guys are more concious of how near you are to a state of depression. i may have just saved your bloody life. ;-)

your welcome guys!!hahahahahx...

2009-03-30T11:46:00.010+08:00

-an obsession that may cost you your life is one that is not worth obsessing about-

i got a major confession. i'm obsessed. if you still can't figure out what i'm still obsessed about by now, please do navigate away from this page. i'm sick and it's taking a toll. i hate this. i hate the fact that everyone says i'm fine, ok, acceptable and what makes me hate it even more is that i KNOW they are right. i know they are. but in my mind, i keep on thinking i'm not. at the back of my mind, sure i agree with them but there will just be moments where i give in . what more do i need to make myself see what they are seeing? i got plenty of proofs. that's why i said i'm sick. but i got help. got myself my own personal shrink. love her to bits!!thanks kak.saiyidah.though there's the pros and cons. pros: it's free and i can get consultation at my convenience. cons: even when i don't want to hear any consultation she will give it to me. i can't run away from it.hahahax...

trust me, doing things the way i am doing is not the right way. i'm no longer exercising to keep myself healthy. i'm exercising to keep up with my obsession.

2009-03-25T15:11:00.002+08:00

-Those things said in anger are usually exactly what we mean, when we have too little control to stop ourselves-

think happy thoughts.

get back up.

find my happy place.

ignore the pain.

resist the need to cry.

dust myself up after falling.

have faith in myself even if they do not.

don't listen to those who are out there to hurt you.

you are who you are.

follow your instincts.

2009-03-21T19:50:00.002+08:00

-Sometimes, you will discover that you are exactly where you need to be, whether you like it or not.-

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and
These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

So why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go
Why’d you have to go

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me
Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

no matter what happens, you still have my respect as well as my love. I love you.

2009-03-14T13:58:00.002+08:00

-A coward is someone who makes decisions based only on their fears-

it has been revived!!!MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

insane, i know. but i can't help it. i finally made my waffles!!not using the stove but with...wait for it..wait for it...but with my waffle maker!!i'm so excited. can't believe that old thing can still work. i thought it was a goner when i kind of submerged the whole thing in water when i was cleaning it. i mean, i had to clean it. it's been collecting dust in the storeroom for ages. now i don't have to spent $1.80 just to satisfy my craving for waffles. i can do it anytime i want. awesome huh...love it love it love it!!!

2009-03-11T12:53:00.004+08:00

- Sometimes you've got to save yourself. And sometimes you've just got to go in search of someone to pick up the pieces for you. -

I'm Back.
I'm Bored.
I'm Broke.

the dreaded Bs. how mundane can my life be. but oh well, i did have fun during the four days of freedom. it's just me, my sister, our money and tonnes of shopping centres. sure Genting don't have that many shopping centres but who said we only went to Genting. being the adventurous people that we are, my sister and i went down to KL to do our shopping. it was fun!i get to eat my A&W waffles!!finally. why did they close the ones in Singapore? it's unreasonable. same goes for baskin robin. i had tonnes of ice cream there. everyday it's a must to either have ice cream or coffee. so sue me for pampering my tastebuds but i can't help it. i'm human and i'm weak. can't resist temptation you know. sometimes you just got to give in.

anyway, i'm too lazy to type and i know some of you are too lazy to read long entries so i shall bid u guys farewell and let the pictures do the talking.

2009-02-18T21:23:00.003+08:00

-We fear what we don’t understand.Or what is stronger than we are-

3 DAYS.

that's how long i've been cooped up.

going out didn't happen.

no money spending session.

chillin' at coffeebean/starbucks was a no-no.

crap. i need help.i need to go out. i need this exam period to be over. wait, i WANT it to be over asap. someone please invent a bloody time machine. i want to go to the time where exams are over and i am having the time of my life.

time-machine?anyone?

2009-02-11T21:44:00.004+08:00

- finding myself looking into the window of normalcy and seeing everything that I will never have, lying just beyond my reach -

YEAH!!NO MORE SCHOOL BABY!NO MORE!!

no more tutorials.

no more lecturers.

no more wasting time.

no more breaks.

no more gossips.

and oh ya, no more drama.

haiz.

2009-02-08T10:52:00.004+08:00

-To love yourself, you must learn to love your body—big, small, wide, thin, we’re all beautiful, you just have to believe yourself.-

i thought...

i was past it

past the point where i thought i was imperfect

the point where i thought all the things i've done wasn't enough

and that i had to push myself harder

i thought...

i need to do more

to be one of them

but it shook me to the core

when i found out it was wrong

i thought...

i was getting better

and that i had everything under control

but then life turned bitter

and i drowned in my sorrow

these thoughts are killing me

making me falter

from the inside, it is consuming me

making me wonder

will my life be a wreckage

or will i be alright

will i let myself be cage

or will i stand up without a fright

2009-01-24T20:27:00.003+08:00

guy:"that's a nice name you have."
girl:"yeah. you should hear my phone number."

BORING!!all the shops were closed yesterday. what a crappy shopping experience. they should not close all the shops. what would shoppers like me do?!what can the tourists shop for?! went out with Raini yesterday. it was gr8 catching up. even though both of us had the flu and add the fact that all the shops were closed at plaza singapure (ok, maybe not all but most of them were!), we still managed to spent our money. went to daiso and guess what i got??? ice-pop container!!! i finally get to make my own popsicles!! the first recipe that i tried was yoghurt popsicles. i took plain yoghurt and add in cranberries, raisins and blueberries. it's damn deli i tell you! but i think i'm the only one eating that cause the rest of my family members thinks its too healthy for them. so what i did was googled for ice-pops recipe and managed to grab some that might be favorable to them. but i'll only try it after i'm done eating my ice-pops.

oh yea, me and raini spent 6 bucks to take a passport size picture. so cool. she wanted colour but i insisted on black and white. so we scissored papered stoned and naturally i won. must be my lucky day cause everytime i play that game, fate doesn't seem to be by my side.

our 6 bucks photo.

2009-01-24T17:55:00.003+08:00

-Just because you hope for something, doesn’t mean that it will be a reality.Hope doesn’t equate to reality-

I am completely in LOVE with this marmalade. The purchase of this jam was one of my impulse moments. When i went to do grocery shopping last thursday, i passed by the breakfast aisle and this jar of sweet orange, packed in bright orange bottle decorated with beautiful flowers and oranges totally caught my attention. I just had to have it! I've always wanted to taste orange marmalade so what better time then now. I mean, c'mon! haven't you guys ever wondered what made Paddington Bear so crazy in love with his marmalade sandwich? The sandwich that he never leaves home without? well, guess what? I am now privy to that particular answer. grab a spoon, take a dollop a marmalade, spread it on a piece of toast and you might just experience the intense sensation one may get when eating Paddington famous orange marmalade. it's damn nice i'll give you that.

anyway, went to sent my sister off to bangkok yesterday. totally envy her. get to travel here and there. i so want to be at BKK right now. i want to shop!!i NEED to shop!!argh!assignments are tormenting my life. As of now, i am currently being ruled by stupid deadlines. did i mentioned how much i hate school. but there's one thing to look forward to though. the DRAMA. my god, if i were to be given the opportunity to write a movie, i'd definitely write one based on school. the materials are that darn GOOD. the complexity is full of suspense. it's what motivates me to attend classes.

life's like this...

2009-01-22T15:19:00.002+08:00

-There’s no cure for stupidity; it’s terminal.-

2009-01-18T11:39:00.009+08:00

-I learned that there is no past and there is no future. There is only one long, endless moment. Now is all you have ever had. If you cannot live now, you will never live at all. -

Monday
- wake up
- go school
- do assignment
- go home
- sleep

Tuesday
- wake up
- go school
- do assignment
- go home
- sleep

Wednesday
- wake up
- go school
- do assignment
- go home
- sleep

Thursday
- wake up
- go school
- do assignment
- go home
- sleep

Friday
- wake up
- go school
- do assignment
- go home
- sleep

alright, so basically that's how my life have been functioning eversince school reopened. sad right. but what's more pathetic is that it's going to be like that for the next couple of weeks!!argh!i live a bloody sad, depressing life!i need moolah to add some joy to my current life. cash = shopping = satisfaction. it's a standard equation for all women out there you know. but cash != happiness. now that, is a universal equation all mankind should be well aware of. *p.s.for all those non-IT people, "!=" means "not equal to".

anyway, i did have fun on friday. met up with Bai finally! it's been ages since i went out with her. i think, the main purpose of me meeting her is so that she could return me my book back but i think we ended up shopping. ok, more like shopping for her and window shopping for me. me!window shop! unfuckingbelievable. ka-ching people!!i need my ka-ching!!whatever. ok, so we met up at tamp mrt station with me being punctual. it's true!!i swear! then we headed down to bugis to get her stuffs then we went to airport to chill out. talk about things that i don't think i want to say it right here. it's very embarassing but obviously Bai has no qualms about posting it on her blog.

moving on to the day after that, i sent my first sister off to HongKong!!!i'm missing her already!!when i sent her, i felt like going with her as well. too bad i have assignments that's tying me down here. stupid, bloody assignments. if not, now i could be honing my skills of shopping. anyway, she'll be back next week. can't wait!after that, me and my second sister went round the airport, finding for a place to eat our breakfast. fastfoods were out cause i'm not really a big fan of it. so we went round and round and decided on Mr.Bean. i had a geat time talking to her. it's so much easier now but i'm still working on it. now, i'm totally making the effort to at least go out with my siblings once a week. a simple hanging out at coffeebean or starbucks will suffice. heck, at kopitiam also i don't mind. And oh ya!at the airport i had two cups of coffee for myself at Killiney. the caffeine rush was totally welcoming cause i had to go back to school to do assignment.

here's a random fact: caffeine consumption causes stunted growth in children. trust me, i'm making sure i'm putting my children far, far away from coffee or perhaps i could give some to my brother so that he won't get any taller than me. he's now 1.6m mind you!!almost my height. damn sad that i'll be the second shortest in my family but if i were to start giving him caffein now, i could still maintain my reputation of being the 3rd shortest. ;-)

2009-01-06T11:13:00.002+08:00

-You’d best be careful, lest you become what you hate the most-

i know what i am doing is wrong and i have never been more grateful to have a best friend like you. someone once asked if i would ever give you up, there were times i almost said yes but i know that no matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend. i know we have polar opposite lifestyles, but that don't mean we'll drift apart. don't worry, no one can replace you. no matter how little time we spent, just know that you're still my best friend. thank you for everything darling. yesterday was definitely one of the days i'll remember.

2009-01-01T14:50:00.002+08:00

-Life is what it is. We can’t change it. We can’t wish it away. What’s the point of living it, if all you’re going to do is wallow in regrets and shoulds and ifs

found this at her website and i've been playing the song over and over again ever since i got to know about it in one tree hill. great song. love the lyrics. can't get enough of it.

if you play close attention to the lyrics, you realise that it applies to most of our lives. maybe not all but it definitely applies to me.

2008-12-29T22:53:00.008+08:00

The world we knew won't come back

The time we've lost we can't get back

The life we had was no regret
Though it was not what i expect

2008-12-26T19:22:00.003+08:00

When you’re weary and feeling small

When tears are in your eyes,

I will dry them all.

Remember that I’m on your side

When times get rough

And friends just can’t be found

wow. i know i know. i've not been updating and all that. it's my fault. so many things have been going on. revelations have been unfolding right before my eyes and i think i am more mature now. it have open up my eyes on the fact that life is not what it always seems to be. life is nothing more than a facade for those trying to run away from their porblems.

spending time with my siblings is something i will always remember. it is something i will never ever trade for anything. give me a million bucks and i would still refuse. time to sit down, drink coffee and tea with them and talk about everything under the sun is priceless. sure we have to pay A LOT for the parking but it was worth it. we should do it again soon. maybe this time we take public transport.

i know that sometimes i am aloof and you guys may think that i am emotionally detached but do remember that no matter what happens, i'm still here for you guys. i may not show it but i do promise you guys this, i'm always, always here for you guys. i'm not going anywhere. you guys are my priorities and i would drop whatever i am doing when you guys need me. just say it and i'll be there.

-When the time comes for you, I'll be there, standing by your side. You will not be alone, I swear to you-

2008-10-19T10:26:00.002+08:00

-Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, so just leave me the hell alone.-

shopping with my bro. shopping with my sis. shopping by myself.ahh...shopping. it does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?i've been shopping non-stop. i know it's crazy but it's very addictive!once you start you can't stop. shopping with your siblings is so refreshing cause it's not everyday you do it. i miss those times where me and my second would shop, shop and just shop. add my bro to the mix and you can find us shopping for food as well.

anyway, school started over a week ago and my time table is horrible!i end late everyday!argh!i hate it. but there are days where i start late but still!!it doesn't matter to me cause i still have to leave the house early since my school is far. but i'm used to it already. thank god for that.

honestly, i got nothing to update. except that over the weekends i went to kina's and raini's open house. i was the only one there. i mean as in the only friend that i know. wait, that doesn't sound right. i meant that i didn't know anyone else there. the rest of their friends have not came over yet cause apparently i came at a timing where nobody was there. it's not my fault you know. i had two open houses alright.

2008-09-24T19:56:00.003+08:00

-prepare for the worst, then it won't hurt so bad-

oh god. it hurts. my tooth hurts. just went for the root canal treatment yesterday. the anaesthesia was mild enough till i can still feel the pain while the dentist was drilling my tooth. it felt like there was a construction site going on in my mouth. i HATE the drilling noise. totally hate it.

anyway, after the anaesthesia wore off, the pain came back full force. i mean the pain is different from the one i felt before the treatment. its like the feeling of soreness after a surgery. it still is painful now and i can't bite anything!!every single bite i take, its freaking painful and here i thought after the treatment i won't be in pain anymore. my feelings were so cheated. im still on panadols and i've finished two boxes of panadol extra. need to get another box. what i need is ibuprofen. not paracetemol. i need something stronger!

2008-09-13T11:11:00.004+08:00

-payback's a bitch and you're all overdue-

ahhh...the wonders of shopping. it tends to cure most of your problems but on the other hand, it creates a big hole in you pocket. but nevertheless, it satisfied my need after taking a sabbatical leave from shopping.

went with my dearest bai to shop. i missed going shopping with her. she made me wait while she try on one top after another AND on top of that, i was the one that had to take the clothes she asked for. lucky me. but it's alright. i made her wait while i tried on my stuffs. i was done by 10 mins but i took an extra 10 so that i get the feeling of satisfaction that she has to wait longer. hahax. sadist huh. sorry darling. the intention was unintentional.

i really got nothing much to update cause nothing much is going on. the days have been mundane. nothing new.nothing great. oh ya, and my tooth hurts big time. it's excruciatingly painful. i've been downing 4 pills of panadols each day to alleviate the pain. but honestly, the pain is still there. so what i did was take 2 pills each day. it's not healthy to take too many panadols you know.

oh yea, eversince the pain, i have a dream and that is to take a pair of freaking pliers and pluck the freaking tooth out. problem solved.

2008-08-17T21:27:00.008+08:00

‘What do you want from me?’

‘Nothing more or less than you’re willing to give me.’

‘What if I don’t want to give you anything?’

‘Then that is something I will learn to live with.’

‘And if, one day, I might want to give you something?’

‘Then I will give you everything.’

- quoted from somewhere-

number of years have passed
and i thought it got better
but our friendship is standing at an impasse
to the point where i do not know what's the matter

was it lack of communication
but that's hard to say
as you do not give me any indication
that you are willing to tell me what happened today

knowing that the situation is as such

where i know you can't fulfill the deed

i tried not to ask too much
when i realized you can't be the friend I need

so are you going to start being my friend

and treat me as how a real friend should be treated
or is my friendship just for rent

where you can take me for granted

2008-08-07T22:19:00.003+08:00

-you have a very annoying habit of not answering the question when you are answering the question-

EXAMS!!!!!!! trust me, that word is something i hate with every fibre of my being. here's my take on that word:

exams = notes + stress + chocolate + COFFEE + more stress

it's pretty self-explanatory really. if you don't undertstand, let me put it in layman's term; exams are very stressful. so many things to cover. so little time. of course that's only applicable to people like me who studies last minute and hope to pass with flying colours. hey, a girl can hope can't she?

anyway, i've just realised i got this pictures which were taken quite a while back. can't really remember. erm, hello...short-term memory? anyway, i think this was at plaza singapura. can't recall what we were doing there. good god!my stm is bloody horrible. no coffee, no coffee, no coffee.....when i say something doesnt mean i have to do it right? but it's going to be a miracle IF i do stop drinking coffee. 'if' being the operative word.

2008-07-30T00:21:00.008+08:00

from me to you,
my best friend

i'm sorry
sorry for not being the friend you want
sorry that i never had a boyfriend before
so that's why i can't understand you
sorry for not being able to understand how you feel
sorry for not being the 'fun' friend you want
sorry that i have too many restrictions in my life
sorry for always trying to make the effort to talk to you
when all you would say is, "you don't understand"
sorry for wasting your time when you could have spent it with someone else
sorry for asking too much in our friendship
sorry for trying to make things work
sorry for putting in my best to actually allow our friendship to last
liked how we said it would in primary school
sorry for the lies i told just to reassure myself
that everything is going to be alright
sorry for thinking that i am still as important in you life as i was back than
sorry for always thinking for myself and never for you
sorry for hurting you when you actually hurt me as well
sorry for taking time off my busy schedule to actually make the effort to ask you out
without having any agenda behind it
sorry for asking too much from you and when i do,
you would say, "i'm not that kind of friend. i can't be that kind of friend you want"
sorry for thinking that i was still your best friend
sorry for being tired for always hearing you having to say you're sorry
but most of all, i'm sorry for having to say all this to someone who i still regard as a best friend when i have more than 10 reasons to not regard you as such

what's happening?

2008-06-27T14:57:00.002+08:00

-ILLITERATE? write for help-

The week back to school is so horrendous!i can hardly keep my eyes open during lectures. i was so used to waking up late that i'm only wide awake in school after 12pm. before that, i'm a gone case.i need my morning sleep!i can't function without my sleep and COFFEE!too bad my school do not have starbucks or coffeebean. i'd rather have starbucks or coffeebean in my school than any fastfood outlet. provided my school plans to have any which i doubt so it's going to happen anytime soon. so for now, i just have eto settle with nescafe.

went out with kina the other day. it was great duh! it had been quite awhile since i hanged out with her. headed over to vivocity and grabbed a cup of coffee at gloria jeans. they had a promotion going on. all regular ice-blended is going for 3 bucks from 2pm to 7pm. i think. not too sure about the timing. should check it out cause it's only till 31st July. i think.

2008-06-18T18:19:00.001+08:00

BAI.....

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-12T20:26:00.004+08:00

- who are you to question my actions?-

i'm such a bookworm!total bloody bookworm!i think i borrowed more than 10 books. how bookwormish is that?

anyway, i had my class chalet last tuesday. it was great, we had tonnes of fun and i had a couple of hypothesis which i carried out with a marshmallow.sounds stupid but it was proven true!hah!

today i went to batam, accompany my mom. over there, i'm rich but when i come back to singapore, i'm freaking broke. how sad is my life?so we went round 11 am and reached back about 5.30 pm. didn't buy anything cause i'm doing my shopping at australia. so that means no GSS for me this month. maybe when july comes i shall do my GSS shopping. it's not me personally shopping at australia for my things, it's my sister. she's there for her holiday and i asked her to buy a couple of things. alright, A LOT of things. but hey, it's my money.

2008-05-31T22:25:00.008+08:00

-holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose-

yesterday i went back with bai. can you believe it?and we were from clementi!!big shock to the system...ok, maybe that's a bit too overdramatic...but bai, you are hardly one who wants to travel far.anyway, i can't say much cause i'm in the middle of studying. so here's what i got so far..

here's me and bai on the way home from clementi...surprising isn't it...the words bai and clementi in the same sentence?

And check this photo out!!!it brings back all kind of memories i had with different people!found it somewhere in my archives... i miss miss miss my coffee!!

2008-05-13T10:18:00.000+08:00

JAMES BLUNT!!!

here i come....

2008-05-03T19:38:00.008+08:00

-so you claimed-

im so pissed. oh so pissed. so many things to do but yet so little time. assignments given to me right, left, back, front and centre. i'm hardly keeping up with my revision on top of them. i'm struggling here. people have got to cut me some slack. i'm only one person you know. i can't do a one man's show.

anyway, yesterday i went shopping!!made my day a whole lot better. went with bai and ifah. met up with bai round 4 than waited for ifah to end school till round 5 plus. i spent quite a lot!!so now i officially declare myself broke!i always declare myself broke after i splurge myself on shopping cause i will tend to keep telling myself that i'm broke and i got no extra cash to spare so in the end, i won't spend. it's a mind, psychological thing. i've always wondered how i survived secondary school with the allowance given to me but now, with my allowance given, i'm barely surviving!!and here's the kicker, the amount i got is more!this is a question that i shall ponder for awhile till i found the answer for it. till then.....

2008-04-24T20:59:00.002+08:00

- you can't even be honest about being dishonest-

my muscles are aching. they are BLOODY ACHING.

had kickboxing yesterday so that explains why my muscles are over stretched. i have 5 more weeks of it and i can't wait!i'd rather do kickboxing then yoga. trust me, you can sweat doing yoga in an air-con room.that's how bad it is and people say it's relaxing.

anyway, today we celebrated corrie, jun kai and bella birthday. went to hang out at the stadium and had a pot luck. we then played the concentration game. my name was not mentioned a lot cause it's too damn long and difficult to pronounce. i feel so blessed for that. after that,we played 7-up and by god, i think i need to brush up on my multiplication of 7. i forgot!!anyway, my maths is not something to be proud of. it was one of my stupid moments where i had to actually asked if 68 was a multiple of 7. you don't have to be blonde to have stupid moments you know.

2008-04-14T21:19:00.002+08:00

tiredtiredtiredtired....

that's all i can say for today. didn't know the first day back to school would make me damn knackered. i think i have to get use to the journey to and fro. and i hope the adjustment is going to be fast cause if it's going to be like this for the next few weeks. i don't mind paying the taxi fare. i'm just so freaking tired. honestly.

2008-04-12T17:01:00.003+08:00

-prejudices are what fools use for reasons-

since my fellow friends have updated their blog on yesterday's outing, it seems prudent for me to update as well. but of course mine won't be as detailed as theirs cause as you all know, unfortunately i suffer from STM. its a curse in disguise. i think.

anyway, i met up with bai and aidah round 12 and went to have our lunch at pizza hut. student meal. its very worthy if you ask me. of course coming from a girl that is strapped for cash, it might be a tad bias. it took us bloody long to order though cause in between we, mainly me and aidah while bai laughed at our antics, had disagreements and small fights. it' small really. not the usual fights me and aidah have. and it was only small because i pormised bai not to fight with you aidah and i think i managed that. a bit. and i gave bai cheesecake!!!my very2 nice cheesecake which i had half the mind to keep it to myself and tell her my cheesecake didn't turn out great and that it was a disaster so that i don't have to give her, her share but my guilty concious keep on buggging me so i handed over her cheesecake. it was great catching up with aidah even though she said i was insignificant in her life. oh wells. i can be very insignificant on your birthday you know. and do take note that, my b'day's on the 3rd of july. not 15!!after we're done with lunch, we went to the library. tried searching for books but nothing really caught my attention so i didnt borrow any. then we headed over to my house where they played NFS and i laughed at aidah for losing not once but a lot of times. next time aidah, if you break the law, don't bother trying to make a break for it cause you will still end up getting caught.

2008-04-06T13:03:00.003+08:00

-black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.-

i've been a very very busy girl for the past few days. went out with my girlfriends back-to-back.tiring but fun.

on thurs i went to the gym in the morning with kina. it was tiring but alright i guess. i mean you can't expect a lot after a long hiatus from going to the gym right? so there we were exercising our ass off for an hour. then we took a mat each and did crunches but after awhile we stopped and settled for talking while laying down. great way to spend the rest of your time in the gym you know.

right, after that i rushed back to meet up with bai to buy her b'day gift. i haven't even buy raini's gift and she ask me for hers.you see la...the type of people i have to bear.hahax. anyway, we went to orchar first to check out the shops there duh. nothing really caught my attention though. surprising but at least it saved me from spending. then we went to la senza at paragon(again for me). don't you love me bai?you saved 20 bux you know.then we headed down to bugis to buy her present. got one for myself as well. bai, we got to do some swapping with the bag!!and i don't mean just for the day.haiyo..

on friday, i met up with raini to get her present. god, i think i'm bloody broke already. that's it. i shall only go out when i deem it neccessary. other than that i shall lock myself up at home. we went to TM 1st then made our way down to town. it was great catching up with her. we talked and talked and talked non-stop. i've known her for so long and yet it still doesn't seem to be boring when i meet up with her. sometimes you get the feeling where by you get sick and tired of the same thing over and over again but with her, its not like that. so dont worry aite darling?it doesnt apply to you. got her b'day gift than we made our way home. by then i was dead tired. going shoping back to back is never a good idea. trust me. it's not.

another day, another story. part 174

2008-03-31T21:41:00.003+08:00

-i'm not lost. i've merely left reality and have driven straight to insanity-

now, don't go pissing on me for not updating. i have a very good reason for that you know. went to sentosa last thursday and the reason i didn't update on it cause i'm waiting for kina to pass me the pictures. i brought along my camera, but most of the time we used hers. it's easier that way. for me at least. though i'm still waiting for it so when i do get it, i shall post it ASAP alright.

anyway, we met up at 11am and made our way there. it was ubergreat!!an all-girls-day-out. no guys allowed but of course with the exception of the ones we wash our eyes with. geez...i totally washed my eyes out man. even kina said that i'm enjoying it.hahahax....i tried to stop. honestly!i did but obviously i failed didnt i??oh wells. can't blame a girl for trying.then after that we went shopping at vivo and i bought bras at la senza over there. i think i'm gonna go broke soon. might be sooner then i expect.anywho, me and kina went to hang out at pacific coffee while farah had to go back. it was fun!they had swing seats!!!initially we sat inside cause the swing seats outside were all occupied. we played uno where for the 1st four games, kina beat me hands down. it was unfair but the tables turned around after the fourth game. seems that lady luck decided to favor me for the next four games. won four straight games then we went for a tie-breaker and obviously lady luck abandoned me in time of need. i lost.then we bought another drink and hanged out at the swing seats. it was great!! we chatted about practically everything. it was really2 fun.

then on saturday(god!!i actually have to stop and think how to spell saturday), i went shopping with my sis. for bra!!went to la senza(again..) at paragon. they have more variety over there so if you wanna go to la senza, do check out the one at paragon. the service there seems to be very good. all their staffs are friendly.anyway, i think i spent about 80 bucks on bra and undies. but i do not regret a single cent. it was worth it. not everytime i splurge on them.

and oh yeah, bai, i'm a la senza's member now. wad's yours?

another day, another story. part 173

2008-03-26T18:55:00.004+08:00

- i've found that faith is vastly overrated.-

today was great. woke up as early as 5.45 in the morning to get reay for my sister graduation day. did my preparation half asleep though. too tired to concentrate. reached there quite early and i kept on bugging my sis what time was the reception. i thought she said 8.30 so i thought, alright then, i think i shall skip breakfast. then when i asked her where was it, she told me, " i told you already. it's at 10.30.whoever said it was at 8.30?!" so there i was, sitting thru'out the whole ceremony with my stomach grumbling.

anyway, after that i went out with bai to exchange my skirt for a jeans and guess what?!!she treat me to a cup of chocolate javachip at starbucks. did i tell you how much i love you? then we headed back to tampines and i accompanied her for her bus. we played the pretending game to occupy ourselves. it was quite crappy but hey, if it occupies our time, its good enough for us.it goes something like this, "pretend that you are...." fill in the blanks and you could have much fun as we did.

so bai, how about that threesome?

another day, another story. part 172

2008-03-22T19:18:00.003+08:00

i want to go to

VICTORIA'S SECRET

fashion show...

another day, another story. part 171

2008-03-12T19:02:00.003+08:00

- no one is perfect, which is perfectly normal.-

give me a B. an O. an R. an E. and topped it off with a D. what do you get?BORED.

i'm dying of boredom here. i need something to do to occupy myself with. dead, dead, dead. i got nothing to do!!i'm bored of reading books, bored of using my laptop, bored of playing all the games i can get my hands on. im just plain BORED!!

anyway, i just came back from the pet store with my bro. i treated him to a couple of fishes. angel fishes to be exact. white angel fishes. very nice. i hope it doesn't die anytime soon. i love those fishes. i loved it so much till i named them.hahahax.i did say i was bored didn't i?

yeah, i named them wren and cyn. crazy, but i adore it.

another day, another story. part 170

2008-03-08T19:57:00.004+08:00

- men. can't reason with them, can't kill them.-

ouuhhh....yesterday wen shopping again. ok, WINDOW shopping. a girl can window shop can't she?but whether or not she spent her money is another whole matter in which i didn't.so happy!!i managed not to spent when i WINDOW shop. but that's the whole purpose of window shopping. not to spent your money. oh wells.maybe i have a different view on it.

went with raini to town. headed down to orchard and paractically talked about everything under the sun. told her i love TOKIO HOTEL and how i want a german speaking husband. it's hot ya know. but she just laughed at me. oh wells. like i've said, a girl can hope can't she?

then we went over to my house with the intention of finding some accessories for raini to go along with her outfit. ransacked my whole accesories drawer and my clothes as well. it turned out, i got more accessories than i thought i had. and i still can't find my butterfly raini!!it's GONE!MISSING! maybe i should put up a missing poster all over my house.

reward: my undying gratitude

another day, another story. part 169

2008-03-03T23:01:00.004+08:00

- i'm becoming brilliantly stupid -

holy crap. i'm in love with TOKIO HOTEL. ooooh shite. its not a bad ooooh shite. its a good one. honest. the band is awesome. erm, its a mix of erm....i don't know for sure but i like them. they are from germany and their german songs is pretty darn good. it makes you want to take up basic german. well, at least it did for me but oh wells, my mother don't allow cause its IRRELEVANT.

i'm BORED. make sure you underline, bold and italicised that. crap. i don't want to blow all my money on shopping. that's not going to be a good news to my financial advisor. i'm getting bored with using my laptop and my books have no more appeal to me. drats. any ideas? please feel free to sms, tag or email me. snail mail is to be avoided at all cost.

another day, another story. part 168

2008-02-27T17:27:00.005+08:00

-understand that at this time of your life, this is perhaps the very last thing you want.But, it’s here. It happened. There’s no turning back. You can only deal with the hand that’s been dealt to you.-

i went to BKK!!!it was so awesome y'all!!all i did was shop, shop and did more shopping. hahahax....it's a bloody shopping paradise. from my hotel, u walk straight, is a shopping complex. beside that shopping complex is aother shopping complex. behind these two shopping complex, are two others shopping complexx and it's al withing a walking distance. even the BTS is a 15 mins walk from my hotel. then if from my hotel you turn left, you can see all the small shops and same goes if you turn to the right. but if you walk to the back from where i'm staying, you can find even more shops plus a couple of shopping centres. its a shopping haven....

here's a couple of pics i took of all the stuffs i bought. i got to know what i bought man. inventory purposes. y'all didn't know??i'm opening my own shop...

here's what i bought in a nutshell. more than half a dozen of bags, tonnes of clothes and millions of other stuffs.

got to read what it says. bought one for my bro. so if you find anyone with this t-shirt in red colour, that would be my brother. i would forever be in your debt if you would return him back to me cause it would seem that i have misplace him. of course i would pay for any charges.

some of the knick knacks that i bought. they got starbucks over there!!!unbloodybelievable. when i saw the starbucks, i was jumping for joy. even without caffeine i'm already high.bought the drink and the choc as you can in the blue packaging. i still haven't open it though. it's too nice to be eaten.

finally, after i came back, i started baking already. i have to keep myself occupied you know. it keeps the boredom at bay.this is what i did just now in the morning. cinnamon rolls anyone??

another day, another story. part 167

2008-02-21T08:25:00.006+08:00

-get your head out of the clouds. you might get stuck in them and never get out-

exams finally over!!!so now you guys know why i've not been updating lately. last minute mugging as usual. ok, so maybe its not THAT last minute but i really did have prepared everything on hand. i mean i came up with a schedule as to which day i should study what module and by when i should have completed it. but oh wells, i didn't manage to fulfill it. life got in the way. but what the heck, it's over and done with.

i got 7 weeks left till school reopens. now what a i going to do?really, i got no idea. i think my official job would have to be rotting at home. i have already stacked up my novels. bought a new recipe book for baking. yeah, i think that's about everything. when school reopens, i'm going to be well adept cook (only for cakes and cookies though) and a super duper bookworm. i mean, i'm already one so what's a few more books going to do to me right?

in a nutshell, that's my plans for the coming holidays. so if you guys wanna go catch a movie or go out with me, i'm in. my schedule is pretty much barren.

another day, another story. part 166

2008-02-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

-it's all over but the regret and crying.-

The feeling of losing someone is seldom known in my life but on tuesday, i met up with it head ons. i didn't had the chance to even say goodbye. you left knowing it was your time. know that you were the greatest person i have ever met. you gave me affections he couldn't and wouldn't give. Even my parents love you.

if i would have given anything just to have a few more minutes with you. if i could turn back time, i would have stop procrastinating and took the time to meet up with you. if i was given a choice to either sit for my exams or meet up with you, i wished i had choosen the latter. there's so many IFs but not one opportunity.

but just so you know, even though you have went, you will never be lovED but always still being LOVE.

another day, another story. part 165

2008-01-28T21:54:00.001+08:00

- You never know what you have until you lose it and you never know what you lost until you get it back -

Friday was great. hanged out with Bai. Explored TM even though i have covered every inch of it since the past 14 years i've lived at tampines. the company was great. it was quite sometme since i last met her so we did a lot of catching up and of course we crap around as much. what's hanging out if you don't have any fun, joy and laughter?i really had a great time so thanks deary!

anyway, today i came down to school to do java. unbloodybelievable. reached school at 11 then i was supposed to leave at 1 to go for my Amore class but since i have not completed my codings i decided to postpone it.and guess what??i spent 8 whole freaking hours doing my java!!8 hours which is equivalent to a one night sleep. heck!!i have not even been sleeping for 8 hours for the past few days!

the things i do for education...

another day, another story. part 164

2008-01-28T20:07:00.000+08:00

- give me a reason to not question my sanity-

i think i am experiencing a moment of insanity.
too many date lines.
so little time.
tried to make things appear fine
but i know i'm only wasting time.

another day, another story. part 163

2008-01-27T15:58:00.000+08:00

-how much for a broken friendship, a side of regret and a plate of forgiveness?-

finally, i'm done with all my assignments. now i'm left with my presentation and walk through test as well as 2 more exam papers to sit for.i'll have to present my PDA application to my teacher this coming thurs at 10 am. bloody buggering hell, i'm nervous. i'm scared i forgot everything i'm suppose to say. oh well, i can always wing it.

my programming would be a walk through test. do some modification to the codes i have done previously. hope i can smoke through it. it's damn difficult to under java. damn.

anyway, just now the most hilarious thing happened. initially i tried out my bro's school shoes. i didn't think i could fit but at last, i could. then, i had the most hare-brained idea. i wanted to make a perfect image of a primary school kid so i tried out my bro's uniform and by god! i could fit into it!hahax..it was damn outrageously funny!my siblings and me were laughing non-stop. then to top it off, i even carried my bro' school bag.

another day, another story. part 162

2008-01-20T22:17:00.001+08:00

- "Are you going to be a pain in the ass over the next month?"
"Most likely. Am I going to annoy you?"
"Most definitely." -

sadly but yet surprisingly true, i'm still in school. finishing up my bloody assignments. yes yes. i know it's ALL my fault but honestly, can you fault a girl for procrastinating?i don't think so.

anyway, i was super late for school. reach school about one hr and 15 mins late. yup. that's true. the ever punctual farzanah is late. even my classmate was shocked.

"Farzanah, first time man you are late."

it's cause by some stupid hold up by the mrt. they had to block the whole stretch from pasir ris to tanah merah onwards. took some pics of it though. my mom gave me money to take a cab to school so i went with raini but here's the downside, we waited for more than an hour but still no cab. so i had to ask my mom to send us to school after she sent my dad to work. the taxi money we still had to use it cause after dropping my dad at his work place, my mom decided that she doesn't know the way to my school from there so she told us to take a cab from the taxi stand. funny huh....

here's the pics i took of the unexpected scene:

if you look close enough, you can actually see two people walking near the mrt on the track.

another day, another story. part 161

2008-01-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

- I don't have much friends because most people are afraid of me.
And why is that?
Because I'm rude, sarcastic, and mean. I try to get people to do things for me by blackmailing them, I fake injuries to get what I want, and I don't hesitate to hurt people I don't like -

wow...i'm so packed with due dates. assignments are piling up and i'm barely keeping up with it. i just borrowed 5 books for my PDA application. my god, it's so difficult to understand all the technical terms. before i got the books, i actually spent hours on the internet finding for the solution. it's seriously taking up a lot of time.

on top of that, i have my programming assignment. read the question, and i found out that i'm lost. didn't understand all of it. think i'm going to die again. oh ya,here's the best part. it's due the week after my PDA application assignment.

crap. i think i'm in so much trouble.

another day, another story. part 160

2008-01-14T19:13:00.001+08:00

- make me a cup of hot chocolate and i'll keep your secret -

i feel so sick
a bad case of flu
my throat is in pain
and my drink can only be plain
my temperature is rising
not allowing me to think straight
to make matter worse
i got a presentation the next day
damn!

another day, another story. part 159

2008-01-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

-trust is such a rare commodity and i don't have much of it-

whoa...it feels so weird not to have your parents at home for one whole day. feels as though something big is missing. you'd be constantly waiting for your mom to ask you to do something, wait for her nagging or hearing your dad's loud voice talking to his client on the phone. not forgetting for lunch to be cooked for you and your mom asking you to eat or your dad asking what you want when he's going down.sometimes, all those little things we take for granted. who knows what may happens in the next second, minute, hour or day. the future is uncertain. what we can do is cherish every second of everyday cause if something were to happen, you'll know that you have no regrets.

another day, another story. part 158

2008-01-10T19:43:00.000+08:00

-did the end justify the means?-

the joys of poly life. you get to skip lessons and not care about producing any MCs. but seriously, me? skipping lessons? i think you might have mistaken me for my alter ego.

today i didn't do anything much. only had two lesson but it dragged on till 4. had a 2 hr break in between though. so we booked a room in the library and slack there till we were late for our next lesson. there, another perk of being a poly student. teachers just can't be bothered if you turn up late for class. ended early so we went to the library to check out the board game room but since it was pack, we hang out at block 72. so, once again we slacked and did nothing much really. honestly. we are a bunch of slackers. Our new school; SOS, School of Slackers.

though next week i THINK i have to work extra hard. have to start working on my PDA prototype. its where i have to come up with an application that can be implemented on a PDA. it's as easy as memorizing the periodic table from the start to the end and from the end to the start.huh...go figure.

[most of the time, it doesn't]

another day, another story. part 157

2008-01-09T09:14:00.000+08:00

-sorry to spoil your day, but i'm no amateur-

One minute have passed
And the new year have begun
The things we done in the past
Is something we can never outrun

No matter how much you lie
You cannot change what have taken place
but you can start rebuilding your life
As that would only be the starting phase

And so here we are all praying
That you would not be in denial
As there was once was a saying
That hope springs eternal

So open up your heart
And allow the others in
For they bring you changes
That you can never imagine

another day, another story. part 156

2008-01-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

-pragmatism?from you? i never would have thought that i would live to see this day-

honestly, today was quite fun. attended 2 hours of school only. made my mom send me though and it save a lot of time. one and a half hours to be precise.

now, what we did today was preparing a two minutes speech and deliver it in front of our whole class. it was alright though it depends on the topic you got. if you're damn unlucky, u'd get a difficult one and what i got was 'bad habits of Singaporeans.' geez...i had to crack my brain just to list down 4 bad habits. is it because im an ignorant singaporean or because of the fact that singaporeans have to many bad habits till i don't even know where to start.

another day, another story. part 155

2008-01-06T10:36:00.000+08:00

- farzanah's rule of thumb: if they annoy you, leave them -

alright...so during the holidays i went to indonesia right, so on the flight back to singapore i sat with my mom and another passenger with me in between. she was reading newspaper and resting both of her elbows on the seat where people usually put their hands.you know...that place...ok, moving on. i was kind of pissed cause i didnt have any place to put my hand so what i did was i "accidently" said the f word loudly. my main intention was for her to hear and at least move her hand but she didnt!instead my mom heard it and scolded me.

"Farzanah!i didnt teach you to say all that right! later people think your mother never teach you!"

That's not the best part. when i came back a few days later, my dad came up to me and said,

"farzanah, i've heard that you've graduated from the school of vulgarities."

and of course me being me, was slow on the uptake and when i understood the meaning, i acted innocent of course.

"huh? school of what?"

Then he continued,
"you better don't learn from me ar. i've cut down on it alright."

trust me, i didnt expect my dad to say that and this proves to show that my mom ratted me out. geez...

another day, another story. part 154

2008-01-05T13:16:00.000+08:00

Lookie here...an update right after another one.

just want to drop by and explained why i went back to basics. i don't feel like doing up my blog anymore. for me, plain is simple and nice. so, there...here's my new blog skin. i find it rather nice. not too bad actually and oh yeah..i kind of didn't save my previous template so i lost all the links to some of you guys blogs. so if there is some kindness left in you soul, do leave me your links alright. it'd be greatly appreciated ya.

another day, another story. part 153

2008-01-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

-my mind not only wonders, it sometimes leaves me completely-

TGIF....yeah...the weekend is finally here.3 days of school was not quite bad. sure my mind is still in holiday mode but i managed to grasp certain knowledge. my results is not too shabby. i mean its not too bad for someone who studied last minute.

came back home just now and i was met with one bag after another bag after another one. my mom was on a spring cleaning mission. she cleaned the whole store room and oh boy, was she shocked to find out most of the bags in there is mine. she kept on asking whether i still want this bag or do i need this bag anymore or should she just throw this bag away. oh the horror of just having the thought to throw my bag. MY bag. geez...some people just don't understand that bag play an important role in your wardrobe.

after this week is over, i've promised myself to concentrate on my studies. got to get enough credits to go to year two you know and at the rate my assignments is piling, i doubt so i get to have any 'me' time. darn! and i was so looking forward to school.

another day, another story. part 152

2008-01-01T10:29:00.001+08:00

a new day to a new year...yeah so? for it's just another normal day.sure we've moved on from 2007 to 2008 but what's the big deal about it? it's just like any other day. you go school, do assignments, sit for exams, fight with your friends, say sorry, etc...really, i don't understand what's the whole commotion about.

alright, so with the new year comes a whole new list of resolutions. why come up with one when you can't even stick to the very first one you made? people, they are a very weird bunch of living things. ok, so to get in the mood of the new year, i shall write down my new year resolution. here goes:-

10) i resolve to spend one hour less than my usual time on the laptop. this is going to be difficult coz i dnt even know what is my usual time i spent but nevertheless, i shall try.

9) i resolve to think before i act. huh...can't be that hard now can it?

8) i want to have a whole bookstack filled with all my books. something like a reading corner with a bean bag and an overhaging light. imagine comfort with a hint of coziness.

7) make sure that i don't fight with anymore of my friends coz fighting is so hard to keep up with.

6) i resolve to spend more time doing my school work. hah!!like that's ever going to happen.

5) i shall buy birthday presents one month beforehand so that when their birthday comes, i don't have to worry about being broke. well, this depends on what sale the shops have of course and if the sale demands that i splurge myself, well, hope you guys won't mind belated gifts.

4) i resolve to backup all my items in my laptop every week... provided i remember of course.

3) i shall defrag my computer everyday.

2) i resolve to be less short term memory and remember information to the best of my capabilities so of course i think this is where my post it notes come in handy. bless the creator of post it notes.

1) finally...i resolve to cut down on my shopping to once a month....well, once every two weeks...ok, once a week then....or maybe....three hours each day...

another day, another story. part 151

2007-12-26T20:54:00.001+08:00

This one is dedicated to you my friend.

i have always cared
Despite you being an unfair friend
But now you've left me bare
With only myself left to fend

Our friendship was then at stake
When you found you significant other
But you didn't even did a double take
Nor take the time to bother

The damage is done
For nothing can justify your actions
And you have let me down
By making me think our friendship was a complete perfection

I know I have been delusional
Thinking that you would change
But I have come to a conclusion
That perhaps our friendship was just a game

another day, another story. part 150

2007-12-25T12:31:00.001+08:00

A 1967 chevrolet impala

mini cooper

its a random post but i just got to post this one.my dream car.out of this two, i think now i would go for the chevy. its so antique. i used to love e mini but then when i found out that the insurance in itself is way too costly,so i figured a chevy would do just nice. though i dnt know how im gonna get this car but when there's a will, there's alwaes a way.

2007-12-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

omg!!!after exams i chiong like nobody's business man. i went out with bai and aidah on thurs. we went to have our lunch at LJS and i kept on insisting that aidah was moody. she was!!she looked all so dark, black and gloomy. or is that because of her colour?i gt no idea.hahax...sorry deary, it was meant as a joke. don't take it to personally aite. then we went window shopping round tampines and aidah told bai not to ever go shopping with me. its because i take a very long time to decide what to buy. but bai backed me up instead. isnt she the best? we also went to checked out all the hair SALON. see what are the best prices. ok make that, what are the cheapest prices. trust me, when im broke, i'm dead broke.

on firday, we aso met up. i met up with bai 1st at novena then met up with ifah at orchard. she was late as usual so no biggie...we went to look for her beatles dvd n by god!!it was bloody $169!!im nt about to fork out anything more than 30 or 40 bux...n aniwae, i dnt find it worth it to spent all my hard earned savings on beatles. maybe for ifah its worth every cents.bt definitely nt me. alright, after that, we head down to century to cut bai's hair. initially, i didnt want to cut my hair. i was adamant about keeping my hair, but then i see bai cutting her hair, it looked so fun. hahax...weird word but it was what i felt. honestly!!so i asked the person a thousand and one qns and finally decided to cut my hair. i was shocked when the person actualli straightened my hair. i mean it was temporary but still!i was shocked. i looked....different.right?bt i still like my hair wavy. so after getting my hair done, went window shopping wif ifah while waiting for bai to finish with her hair n oh ya, i made full use of my handphone camera. trust me, i fully utilised the function. i mean, its once in a lifetime look!!!coz i wuld never gt my hair straighten again....n oh yeah, i just realised i dnt hv pics of me n aidah. dude, r u camera shy?

me and ifah b4 cutting my hair

here's the 3 of us on thurs nite

cool mirror image

2007-12-09T18:41:00.001+08:00

It's funny how life's journey may take you.

I've always prided myself as someone who keeps their emotions in control. Crying in front of someone is never an option. Sure, I've cried in front of people but they are my family members. So it is alright. But lately, I think crying is not a sign of weakness. It allows you to feel better and move on with your life but of course you can't indulge yourself with it. I'm the kind of person that thinks 'whatever I do not know won't kill me.' I've lived staunchly by this statement and so far, it does not get me anywhere. So now, I know better. I should open my eyes to all the possibilities and not let whatever things I do not know, be the cause of my sufferings or misery in the future.

So many things are happening in my life right now and yet, none of closest friends knows about it. I do not know whether is it because I don't want to tell them or is it because they couldn't spare a minute to ask how I am doing. It's funny how they say that they would always be there for you and should you need anything, they are just a call away. It may be true for some of my friends but the ones I expected have let me down. Apart from my siblings, they were not the first one I turn to. Heck, their name didn't even cross my mind when I got the news and to think I consider those people my close friends, the ones I thought we would go through thick and thin together and come hell or high water, we'd be there for one another. So now I know better. As time move on, so do our lives. Our circle of friends changes and there will never be a point in time of your life that you would have friendship that live up to your expectations. True friends are the ones who don't need any reasons to contact you. They contact you just for the sake of contacting and asking how you are.

So, as of this moment, there are 6 billion 4 hundred 70 million 8 hundred 18 thousand 6 hundred and 71 people in this world. And all I'm asking for is one kind soul to ask how I am doing.

2007-12-05T15:38:00.001+08:00

HOLY SMOKES!! When was the last time updated?! I definitely have a very good reason for not blogging. Ok, maybe not acceptable throughout my whole hiatus, but at least there was a reason. So many things have been going on since the last time I updated. The good and the bad but what the hell, it all feels the same for me.

I shall not dwell into the past then. It's not my kind of thing. Defiantly. Anyway, guess what?!i have done my shopping!! I know it quite early for shopping, but I couldn't help myself. I was deprived!!! It had been a very stressful week. What with one assignment after another due back to back. So I did some splurging and forked out about 150 bucks for that. On Saturday, I went out with Bai. Went to get her stuffs then we headed back down to tampines and made our way to Body Shop. There we spent about 66 bucks. I thought I was going to stop there but then I went out with my sisters on Sunday. We goofed around and we were on a mission on that day. We kept track of how many people wore the "Little Miss" top that is so common nowadays and by god! There were so many of them. Then we kidded around and asked each other what best suits us. And so we used our god given intelligence and came up with this. Bai was "Little Miss Dumbass" and me was "Little Miss Smartass." Very fitting don't ya think?

Anyway, I think I'm seriously dead broke. For real this time. On Sunday in itself, I spent about 93 bucks. Can you believe that!!! Went out with my sisters at about 1.45pm and reached home round 10 pm. Totally knackered by then. My legs were damn sore. Alright, moving on. For every shop that we went into, I just had to buy something. The urge to spend was so overwhelming! It overrides my voice of reason and rationality. Trust me, on that day, I think my voice of reason took a sabbatical leave. I spent like as though I had an endless pocket of money. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Then me and my second sis, out of the blue, talked about making our own tees with our own slogan. Then she came up with one where it says "All eyes on me" across the chest. Then when she explained to me the reason for that and I was laughing like hell. It was a great sister bonding though.

Then on Monday, I met up with Bai (again) and Ifah. I and Bai were still on the hunt for the "Little Miss" tees. No idea why we were still on the hunt, but trust me, "Little Miss" is getting a bit overrated. So I told Bai about what me and my sis talked about on Sunday. Then we further improvised and came up with a few slogans of ourselves. It was so fun! I was so into it that I decided to make a tee with my own slogan on it. Serious! Even Bai and Aidah agreed. Now all I have to do is decide which slogan I want. Huh. Now that's a problem there.

2007-10-09T19:45:00.000+08:00

polished the wood?checked. wash and scrubbed the toilet?done. preparing myself for this saturday? got to get back to you on that one.

so the house is almost spick-and-span. left with rolling out the new carpets and changing the bedsheets. yes!finally. the chores are all done. for me at least. i was taken advantage of mind you. since i'm not schooling and all that and it so happens my school reopens on the third day of raye. how "fortunate" is that?

checked my new semester timetable. its better than last sem. on mondays and fridays, i end at 3 and on tues i end at 5 and thurdays and wednesdays i end at 4. sweet. but the journey i have to endure, its a killer. i have to to be a commuter for 3 hours everytime i go to school. i'm bored out of my mind i'm telling you that. the sceneries are getting bland cause i've been seeing the same ones for the past few months. maybe i should try going by a new route.hmmm...provided there is one. or maybe they (SMRT people) can put up advertisements that have lots of words that would keep me company. like there was one time they put up the mini cooper advert on the MRT. i was gobsmacked!darn did they caught my attention. trust me, my eyes were all over the new mini. but guess what? the insurance for the car itself is about 7k. expensive car AND expensive insurance? i don't see how they (the sellers) can attract buyers. go figure.

2007-10-07T19:30:00.000+08:00

woke up early today. ok, maybe its the usual timing.say about 5am. didn't sleep back after that though. had to spring clean the house. in the freaking morning. yup, crazy, i know.who cleans in the morning?!

so what i did was to wipe the window grills for both my rooms. took down the curtains and replace it with the new ones. the worst part was that i had to unscrew the curtain poll because the curtains had to be slipped in and not hooked on. make my life so much difficult. why can't they just have curtain polls that uses velcro. that ought to be a bliss man. all you have to do is just to stick it to the polls. climb,stick and voila!a whole lot of time saved.

after that, i had to vacuumed the living room carpet, take it out from under the heavy dining table and fold it for keeping purposes. its damn hard mind you. the table is purely made from wood and its damn heavy. its an eight seater one. i want to see you try achieving all that on your own!huh!!and oh ya!!i have to polish all the wooden furnitures in my house!!and that's 8 seats, one huge table, one medium table and one small table!its a yearly thing for me.

then, i was free so out of the goodness of my heart, i swept my bedroom. see, i can be kind when i want to. it just depends on the situation. so at about 3, me, my mom n my two sisters head down over to giant for groceries shopping. more like for me. went to get the ingredients needed to bake pizza. i made my own crust mind you. i find it nicer than buying a pre-made crust. then we went to ikea to get cushions.so, i have the house all prepared except for mopping. now, all i'm left with is to mentally prepare myself for next week's visit to my grandfather's house. goodie.

2007-10-04T10:31:00.000+08:00

ok...i was busy doing pineapple tarts when a thought occured to me. hari raye happens once every year right?so here's what i came to conclusion.

1. people are willing to spend hundred of bucks on clothes that are usually being worn once or twice. definitely not worn more than 5 times in the same month. but when you are going shopping and see a price tag of 30 or 50 bucks for a top, the first thing that comes to your mind is, "i can get it cheaper elsewhere man. so not worth my money."

2. shoes. ah...here's the funny thing. especially when you're not a heels kind of girl. you would fork out 40 to 70 bux for a pair of heels that are either a killer or uncomfortable. you don't even like it and you wanna pay that amount?that's bloody insane.

3. tote beg anyone?every year most people would get new ones for every new outfits they buy on hari raye. and here's the best part, you only use it for a month. heck, even less than that. so here's my advice to all those on a budget, get a black colour with uncomplicated design. trust me, it'll last. one design, fits all.

4. its the time of year where we people bring the word spring cleaning to a whole new level. sweep the WHOLE HOUSE?done. mopped the WHOLE HOUSE?checked. wiped ALL the windows?hell yes(don't want any blotches now would we?). polish ALL the furnitures?like duh!cleaned out the cabinets?of course. so if someone were to ask me, "when was the last time you clean your house?" my answer would be, "last year. we did such a great job on it so it lasted for a whole year."

5. lastly, people are willing to travel from the east to the west from the north to the south just for the sake of getting money. for the children at least. the parents, lets just say they are more willing to go out so that they do not have to give out money. people call to come over to their house, they say, "sorry. but i'm not going to be at home." well, that's 10 bux saved cause no children is going to cross their threshold. its a win-win situation. but of course, some of those money have got to go, to those who are lucky enough who have their eyes set on your house.

yup.that's all i can think about during hari raye. hey, maybe you guys have different opinions. but to each is her own right?

2007-10-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

ok, im on a roll here.from baking of course.been baking since yesterday but only 3 are for the festive season. the rest, well, lets just say our future guests are not privy to them.

here's the break down. i've baked 5 different types cookies and cake. i made, m&m's cookies, chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal cokies(which i don't really favour though), chocolate swiss roll and m&m's brownie, the last two being the ones not meant for people not belonging to my family. it's nice. damn nice. wonder how i'm going to keep my hands away from them. cause my mentality is this, " i made them, so i have the right to eat them." what can i say, im a fair girl.well, as fair as i want to anyway.

tomorrow is going to be fun. too bad i'm fasting though. i'm making pineapple tarts. my favourite among the rest. ok, confession time. everytime i go to someone's house for visitation, the first thing i look out for is the pineapple tart. that's the first thing i reach out for. i cant help it man. it my basic instinct. after that, i move on to the prawn roll.god!!are those nice. if my mom happens to buy the prawn rolls, i can finish it within a week. its darn good. so are the kerepek. that's the 3rd thing on my agenda. i know i know. its not good to have these kind of behaviour during hari raya but hey, at least i got my priorities straight right. want it, search for it, saw it, ate it. that's my philosophy during that particular month.it's real simple.

2007-09-27T21:42:00.000+08:00

what did i do today??nothing much seriously.i was wasting my time away.honestly, i live such a mundane life.i don't like to live a mundane life.i want something that spice things up a bit. i don't know what, but i'd take anything. no complaining y'all. beggars can't be choosers right?

ok, so i just finish laughing my head off with my sis. she was showing me and my other siblings stupid, hilarious and to a certain extent, gross, videos, attachments and forwarded emails. my god!its damn funny. then after that, we had the time of our life reliving our childhood memories.ok, so maybe its mostly MY childhood memory. they were patronizing me!!but no biggie. aww hell, i was even laughing along with them as well.maybe after i come to terms with my sordid childhood, i'll blog about it but for now, i'm laying low.mum's the word ya.ok, its usually round 9 to 10 pm whereby me and two of my sis would be in the study room when suddenly one of us would just say something random and it would eventually lead to a full blown out laughter. we would laugh and laugh until at one point my mom actually when out of the room and said, "farzanah.can you laugh more like a lady or not. your laughter not bad ah." ok, so wen it comes to laughter, i beat the rest hands down. what can i say, i can't help it.

i'm passing my time by reading books. you know in primary school and sometimes in secondary school, we have this book that allows you to record the number of books you read over the hols right?well, if we still have it, i think i could have filled the whole book. heck, i even have a bookcase filled with books. i got all kinds of genre. you name it, i got it.

2007-09-25T20:00:00.000+08:00

i've dabbled in a LOT of works. from writing poems to photography. but of course my interest in photogaphy was short lived because my attention span was gone by the time they taught the practical. who wants to learn all those theory? they basically teach us the fundamentals of photography. as in how you capture the perfect picture, how much light you want to be in your pictures, blah blah blah.

then there was this one time i wrote a fanfiction with a friend of mine. again, it was cut short. we had a lot of other priorities going on and so we decided to abandon the fic. then, quite a while back, i got an idea for a novel. so i penned my ideas down and got started with few pages. ok, maybe it lasted till the first chapter. then my stupid muse just had to abandon me at the wrong timing. i was on a roll dude!!you can't just leave me there. so now, i'm looking up in my yellow pages for temp muse to fill up the space my previous muse left till she comes back. does temp job include hiring a muse??

the only thing that i'm faithful with, is poems. i've written about 9 pieces. it kind of comes and go. the inspiration that is. one minute i'm doing my own work, the next thing i realise, is that i'm writing words to form sentences on pieces of paper. it gets messy, but hey, the end product is worth it though.

i realise that i'm like, jack of all trades. i know how to do everything, but i don't know everything in depth. i have yet to find my niche point in life. you know when they say that "you should find something you're good at, stick with it"? well, let me enlighten you guys, i have yet to find something im good at. sure i took up history and literature in sec one and two, then i took up pure science in sec 3 and sec 4 and now i'm majoring in IT but doesn't mean i'm good at all of them. it just so happens that i got a chance to take up different subjects and experience it.