Nov 26, 2006

aahh...reality have hit me fast and hard once again...the shit have hit the fan people..i dunnoe but lately i've been felling pissed and so depressed...i talked with my sister bout it and what she said got me thinking...


raini, u noe, my best friend, well she got so many things going on in her life right now. n if u're reading tis raini,in which i highly doubt so,(pity huh tat my own best frend don't even noe my blog) im so sorie..bt u noe wad dey sae, its not healthy to ignore ur probs coz it will only add on to ur burden...i don't know what's happening but i cant take it anymore...i tried talking to u raini but u don't seem to acknowledge it but if u say u do, then crying and telling me that u cnt handle this right now coz u got so many things going on right now don't cut it...u nid to find a better reason gerl...my sis told me that i shld let u go...the gerl i once knew is no more n in her place right now is someone i don't even noe..u're like a stranger to me raini...the only reason im holding on to our friendship is because its so difficult for me 2 let u go..n aso bcoz im such a sucker for sweet talks ..everitime u sae u love me so much n that im e greatest frend in e whole universe, i believed u...i fell for that raini but i don't think im going to anymore...do u reli mean wad u sae or its jz a natural thing for u to do??


maybe u don't nid me anymore coz i can see that u r having a better time wif someone else..im not jealous or anything but i wld feel so much better if u were just to let me go then to continue treating me e wae u r right now..im hurt raini...cnt u tell??i seriousli doubt so...


sorie to sound so crude, but u've got to stop being so SELF-CENTRED...i noe u have your problems raini but wad about me??u think i don't hv probs??i hv as mani probs as u do but the only reason im faring better then u is bcoz i sort out my priorities..u have to sort out ur priorities raini...i've helped u n given advice...now its up to u whether or not u want to heed it but i cn see that ure not heeding it so y bother anymore right??im taking a step back coz that's all i'm gona do...

it seems to me that its e right ting to do...i cnt take it anymore raini...everitime i c u cry or hurt n i asked y, e reason is alwaes e same...im so sick n tired of ur antics raini...get back to reality..stop lying n face the truth...i cnt help u anymore..ive done my best...as of right now, im uncontactable...unless u gt ur priorities straighten out, i've cleaned my hands off u...i noe tat a friend is someone that walks in when the everione else in e world seem to walk out on u but u had urs raini and u took it for granted...now im waiting for mine...will u ensure me that u'd b e friend that wld walk in when everiting seems to go rong??will u promise that u'd b there for me as to how i've alwaes been dere for u??u had ur turn raini n now it is my turn...

i'm not losing my mind..i jz cnt stay to c myself cry bcoz u cldnt stay to watch me cry coz u didn't hv the time and so i slowly slipped away...i have no regrets n i stand by my decisions n shall face the consequence n i hope by then, my friend in shining armor wld come...

a lesson bout faith i hv learnt is that u give it to the people you love but the people who really deserves it r e ones who come thru even if you don't love them enough.

p.s: i know that i'm going to regret posting tis up in my blog..damn my guilty-conscious..

Nov 25, 2006

You and me

We used to be together

Every day together always

I really feel

That I'm losing my best friend

I can't believe

This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go

And if it's real,

Well I don't want to know

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak

I know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories

They can be inviting

But some are altogether

Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I

With my head in my hands

I sit and cry

Don't speak

I know just what you're saying

So please stop explaining

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak
I know what you're thinking

And I don't need your reasons

Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

It's all ending,

I gotta stop pretending who we are...

You and me

I can see us dying... are we?

i am just so tired..not physically tat is..im jz so tired dealing wif ur antics..i dnt even noe wad more to say...dnt even noe wad more i cld say...everiting i say seems to b rong..everiting i say wld jz make u cry...i cnt take it animore...tell me wad to do...wad cn i do to make tings easier for u...stop running n face reality...tis is wad life is about..reality...u cn nvr run nor hide frm it...wenever we tok, it seems tat it is alwaes my..is either tat or u tell me u gt so mani tings happening in ur life tat u cannot take aniting animore...wad do u take me for??a silent frend??one hu jz keep quiet while everiting around her deteriorates??oh god...jz stop lying n face e truth...wad ure doing now doesnt help ur situation...i am alwaes here for u bt im aso needed elsewhr...i hv my own family matters to take care of..my sisters n my bro...i cnt devote all my time n my advice jz for u...pls...help me to help u gerl...i noe u cn gt over tis...hv faith...

drama farewell....ahh...another dae to rmbr.....came about 2.45 n met up wif e rest at e foyer...saw mr lai n mr ow yong n dey were looking at us shocked...mr lai said frm tat dae(grad nite dae) until todae u all nvr go home ar??u sleepover in sch??den mr ow yong was saying tat tis is grad nite part 2 n y we didnt even them..hahax...teachers, so full of themselves...
went up to e music rm at about 3 i tink..b4 we entered, there were like our ''fans''..wen we came up frm e stairs, dey were shouting n waving..u noe like typical fans..n we even had our own security guards!!!actuali dey were our teachers lah...posed n took some pics derr...inside e rm dere were chairs arranged like in an award show n each chair had our name on it...i have a chair wif my name on it!!!!cool...too bad dere wasnt any goodie bag underneath the chair...wld hv made tings complete
aft everione arrived, dey started off wif our syf play n den aft tat dey actuali gt for us awards as a farewell gift!!!!!!!!!!!omg!!!we cldnt believe it!!!it was so bloody unexpected....it was an oscar award..took our award, give speech n eat pizza!!!n take somemore pictures!!!
aftwards, we played a game....i tink its called 'honey i love u, u love me too?' veri hilarious..we were suppose to sae to e person beside us 'honey i love u, u love me too?' wif a veri straight face n we r nt suppose to laugh...we will onli win if e person we r doing it to laugh....initialli i sat beside firdaous n suzanna bt den firdaous hv to go out coz he laughed wen shahida sais dat to him...e methods we use to make tat person laugh is so innovative..hahax..people went for e irritating method, becoming persuasive, seductive, flattering..n some even meneran their voice..hahax...one of dem even went all out to sit on tat person's lap!!!went a few rounds bt it seems tat we drama inkers cn b crius at times...
den, we took more pics!!!!!!dance like nobody's business!!!wad a great dae!!!!it was so much fun!!!god!!im gona miss drama!!...aft e whole ting ended, we took neoprints n well, tat concludes my daes of drama at tpss...

Nov 24, 2006

yeah2...i noe i noe...i was supposed to update ytd bout my grad nite but i was too tired to even switch on the comp...my frends hv been bugging me to update..fine...so here it is...


wednesday nite was definitely a day to remember. it was worth every penny i spent for that particular nite...well, mayb except for the food..god!!it was all seafood except for the chicken..i think the chicken was e only one i liked...e rest was..orite i guess...didnt eat much coz i was bz taking pics...my table was crammed siah coz dere was 11 ppl instead of 10...our class was supposed to hv 3 tables but somehow or rather, we only had 2 tables..n guess wad?it was my group tat had no table...wtf??!!siah...den i dunnoe wad happened, but we ended up wif table number 10..not so bad though coz it was near e door n near to my friends..thank god!!


e nite was so spectacular...as usual it started off wif our infamous principal's speech..n thank god it was gona be e last time!!den our dishes came n e nite took off...everyone had really outdoned themselves for tat nite...each n everyone of them looked amazing...muz hv spent a bomb to gt that look..hahax...i went around taking pics wif my frends..took wif bai, aidah, ifah, edah n lots more man...n took wif some teachers aso...i took wif mr ow yong!!!yeay!!!he look a tad short in e pic..me n kina was taller den him..muz be bcoz of e high heels but i doubt so coz wen in sch i stand beside him, i am still taller...he so in nid of a growth spurt...hahax...
oh ya, n i got a diary from kina!!i LOVE it!!its so nice...its a bind book n e cover says 'the sin book'..cool huh..n got another one from bai!!!i LOVE it too!!its engraved!!nvr got aniting tats engraved b4!!i like it!!god, im such a sucker for gifts....


orite..i gtg..hv to prepare for my drama farewell nw...i shall update wen i feel like it..so till then, chiao..

Nov 18, 2006

KNACKERED!!!!!
tats wad im feeling exactli rite nw....went out shopping wif my girls jz nw...for my grad nite dress...whoa...cnt believe i a person cn feel tis tired...n on top of tat, i hv blisters..ouch...i feel like poking it wif a needle...painful bt i wldnt mind...n its all bcoz of a stupid shoe tat was threatened to b thrown away if i nvr wear it..shld hv jz let it b discarded..make my feet suffer for nothing...i jz hope it gets better b4 wed coz i dnt tink i cn take it if e blister is still dere...if its still dere, i tink im using slippers..hahax...
aniwae, bought my dress for 105 bucks...quite ok for me coz i onli had to pay 5 bucks n my mum paid e rest..swit huh...bought a black long dress..my beg im using my hari raye one n as for my shoes, im borrowing frm my sis...isnt it great to hv e same feet size as your sis...cn easily share tings..hahax...safe money man..
aft tat went to marina square to search for my hair accesorize but it wasnt dere so i tink im going to paragon on mondae to look for it...i hope its dere..if nt den i gt no idea wad to do wif my hair..shall figure it out on e dae itself...if not den i shall improvise..werk wif wad i hv...

Nov 16, 2006

im back from my one month hiatus ppl!!wow...my 'o' levels r OFFICIALLY OVER...well, for me at least...my grad nite wld b next wednesdae..cnt wait..im so taking lots of pics..i told my mom tat frm tmw till aft e 22nd, im spending quality time wif MYSELF...no one else bt me...

im so depressed...tmw im supposed to go out wif my frend but she sort of stood me up...i already told her my plans bout fridae bout a wk b4 hand but somehow or rather, on wednesdae she found out she got a tight schedule on tat dae aso coz she got a class bbq...i dnt even noe whr to begin...i hate tis...i was so looking forward to it..its not fair..im not trying to b e kind of frend whr dey control deir other friend's life..im not tat kind of person...but i cn only take so much...hw wld u feel if u were in my shoes?sucky n pissed rite?haiz...i got feelings too siah..

oh yeah, den she said dat she cn go wif me but by 4 she hv to b bak at tamp...its nt enuf for me to see n gt my things siah...most probali i see my tings at bout 12..n four hrs is so not enuf...well, for me at least...sometimes i wonder whether im her best frend or nt..but everitime i ask myself tat, i rmbr e times we had 2gether n all my doubts go away...im really really at loss...n i tot wen its nearing ur grad nite u shld b hapi...

yeah rite.....